When All is Lost

19.

Nathaniel stops at the top of the stairs. He is used to this attention and nods to any familiar faces he spots.

"Don't swear." He mutters and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his side.

I had not been expecting this. I remind myself to blink, and then to breathe.

Everyone is still staring and I turn to Nate who smirks at my flustered state.

A smattering of applause sounds from around the room and I look out at our audience again trying not to frown at their approval.

Nate's fingers rest on my jaw, gently shifting my face back to his. "We're in love, remember?" He smiles and kisses me softly, as the room bursts into more enthusiastic applause.

I can see the image we portray, framed by the staircase, the guards on either side, Nate supporting my weight as he dips me slightly and kisses me. It is beautiful, romantic and everything it should be. Except it isn't and I hate it.

"Don't ever do that again," I whisper with a smile, my eyes brightening with threat. I hope it looks like an endearment, but I emphasise my point by squeezing his arm hard. Finding that point below the muscle to remind him I am not some weak female he can make use of.

He nods, understanding as he pulls his arm away. I step back, smiling embarrassed to the court, as we begin our descent. Lady Isabella is standing at the bottom of the staircase, her blue eyes cold as she glares at me. Her friends whisper behind their fans and I know they will be quick to jump on any mistakes I might make. I offer her a smile and nod, hoping she understands I've never planned on standing in her path to Nate. Only, of course, that's exactly what the story everyone is telling means. I have seduced the Prince, then married him in a secret late-night ceremony. I am everything they always feared I'd be.

Adam and Tommy meet us at the bottom of the stairs, a drink waiting for Nate which he passes to me without a word. Tommy's frown deepens but Adam maintains a steady smile.

"So, the secrets out then." Adam smiles, directing all of his attention to Nate, and I assume they are having to pretend too. This really is a godawful scenario we're wrapped up in.

"Seems like it," Nate says, grabbing a drink from a podium as we make our way towards the dais where people are waiting.

"Congratulations, your majesty." Lord Benjamin Mandeville speaks and Tommy straightens up under his brother's gaze. "I was deeply honoured to be invited to the ceremony, even under such tragic circumstances."

Nate nods and I feel him tense as Ben's eyes travel to me. "Charlotte, you look as beautiful as ever. Marriage suits you." He smiles. His attempt at charm feels like he's dripped oil over me, I attempt a smile but it's more like a grimace.

"Lord Mandeville, I thank you for your kind words," Nate speaks for me. I glance around us, the whole room is lining up to speak with us and for the first time ever I can't slip away.

Ben bows to us both with a smile that I struggle to return. He steps away and joins his brother briefly before others have passed us and he can return to his friends. Tommy seems glad to have distance, once again, restored between them. For my part, I keep smiling at the new people standing before us, nodding at their words and doing my best to look solemn yet loving, sad but happy.

What would it be like to stand here if everything we said was true? If we were just two friends who'd fallen in love and been desperate to marry. Nate has said he loved me. I remember the kiss in my room, the feeling of running through the streets hand in hand, elated that he'd returned it. Sleeping in a tangle of his arms, and waking to see his smile, his nerves that perhaps I'd been uncomfortable, his care, his concern, his love. Where was that Nate?