Chapter 26: Boyfriends and psychopaths

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Parker's perspective
Maybe I deserve this. I want to tell him I'm okay. I want to tell him that what my dad did was super fucked up and that love is so much more than hate and that it's so unfair. Because it is. It's so fucking unfair. And I want to tell my mom. I want to tell her that I have a boyfriend and that he's so kind and that she will love him. And I see all these visions in my head of futures with pride parades and dying my hair blue and him doing my moms makeup and dying her hair in the beautiful red she's always wanted. And I want to have hope. But to be honest, hope is really far right now. Because things are not okay. I'm not okay. This... Is not okay.

But I'm just a fucking hypocrite. Because before all of this I wasn't any better. I never hit anyone for being queer. I would never do that. But I said some pretty hurtful things in the past. I've hurt some people and then I went on ranting to my friends, telling them that they're terrible people for doing the exact same thing. Just because I felt attracted to a boy. So yeah. Maybe I do deserve this. And I can try to do better and do better but will it ever weigh out the bad that I've done? Will it ever make me less terrible than my dad? Words can hurt as much as punches and the things my dad told me hurt more than those punches. I think that was the moment I realised how hypocritical I truly was, when my dad hit me. When I came home and the person I was afraid of helped me. It's funny, to be honest. I was more afraid of a gay guy than I was of my dad. So I tell him I'm sorry. Because he needs to know.

He looks at me and tells me it's not my fault and blames himself. I tell him he shouldn't. He's honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me. He kisses my cheek and we fall asleep.

"We're here." My mom wakes me up. My head is still on Sam's shoulder. He's warm and he smells nice. He literally smells like the best of every season. "God... Your home is beautiful!" Sam tells us. My mom chuckles. I guess he woke up before I did, because they're having a conversation right now. "Well, thank you! I'm sorry you had to see it under these circumstances- I didn't have any time to clean at all so don't mind the mess when you get in. I'll make you guys some chicken- Do you like chicken? Or- If you're vegan we can mash something together it doesn't have to be chicken-" She tells him.
Sam smiles at her. "Chicken sounds good, thank you miss."
She laughs at him out of the rear window. "You're so polite- please call me Sandra! A friend of my son is a friend of ours! What's your name by the way? Lovely to see some other friend of Parker- The only person that's ever been here is Jesse." My mom really is a talker.

"I can hear you, you know." I mumble it, but I can't help but smile. I missed her.
"Oh, he's awake." She smiles.
Sam looks at me. "Really? You only ever had Jesse over?"
I nod amused.
"Well, my name is Sam. I can tell you some more if you'd like, but maybe it's best to get him inside first." He looks at me.
She nods.
When we get out, I subtly take his arm and whisper in his ear. "Tell her you kissed her son. She loves close friends." He laughs, shaking his head. "Shush."

Sam's perspective
His house is so beautiful- and- his mom... She's so beautiful aswell. She looks like she lives in a christmas movie. My... boyfriend... Man it's so weird to say that- But my boyfriend... He looks beautiful too. He looks beautiful but so sad and I wish I could take it away, even if it was just some.

The moment the door opens, a little kid is running towards us. "Parkie! Parkie's home! Look, dad! Parkie!"
"I can see that, welcome home."
A man says, smiling from across the living room, getting up. He looks finee.
"Hey little princess!"
Parker smiles widely, lifting the little girl up and swinging her around. And just like that, the light comes back in his eyes. He lets her down, sitting down next to her. "How are you? Are you doing good in school? Taking care of everyone around here?" He tickles her.
She chuckles. "So much work!"
He chuckles too.
"Who is he?" She whispers to Parker, seeing me now.
Parker smiles. "That's Sam. He's... a very special friend. So be nice to him, okay?"
The girl nods at him.
"Okay! I'm Maia! You are very pretty."
I smile. "Thank you Maia, so are you! I love your pink dress!" She smiles, twirling around. "You know, pink is my favorite color."
She gasps. "Mine too!"

The pretty boy from the song (Boyxboy) Where stories live. Discover now