Chapter 11: I really like you... Part 2

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Alex' perspective
I heard him come home. Then I fell asleep.

My alarm goes off. I sigh. I really need to sleep more. Jason isn't here anymore. Someone knocks. Sammy. It became a habit that he came here before school, we always leave together. And I need to talk to my best friend. I open the door and there he is, with a smile and three muffins, Sam. "Goodmorningg! I brought you guys muffins!" I sigh annoyed. "How can you be so happy on a morning? And thanks." "I am always happy on a morning." He smiles. "Eat your muffin. And where is our model friend?" "I- I don't know." I say. "You don't know?" Sammy's eyes become big. "Well well, it already happens! One weekend of marriage and you already don't know where he is!" I look angrily at him. "Sam, this is serious! I think something is seriously wrong, and I don't know how to help him." We walk out of the room. "Tell me everything you know."

Jason wasn't anywhere we looked. "So, he had an anxiety attack?" Sam looks at me, still in shock from everything I just told him. "Yeah.." I gulp. "Okay, you have every right to be worried about him, but maybe we should leave him a bit? He clearly doesn't wanna talk about this and we can't force him, Al." "I know that... I'm just.. Worried." I reply. My friend runs a hand through my hair. "Don't worry, my gay friend in the learn, everything will be alright." I smile at him in a funny way. "Gay friend in the learn?" I ask. "Jup. You're the gay, and I'm learning you." He smiles in a teasing way. "How- what are you even going to LEARN me?" "Well, there's all sorts of stuff, about the LGBT community, about wich guys are dating material when we go to gay bars, about gay sex- My eyes go big. "Sammy! Stop! Please! I laugh nervously. I'm really happy that you're my friend even when you're annoying, but I don't need you to teach me all of.. that! And I just told you yesterday! This is going way too fast." "Well, you're not going to live forever, live your life and all that!" I laugh.  "Look, let's just go to class. If he's not there, we'll report it to someone we can trust, just to be sure. We'll find him don't worry. We should really ask him his phone number tho..." Sam rambles to me. I just hope Jason is okay.

I gulp. Jason is sitting in the back of the class, and turns around when he hears us. "Jason! Sam smiles. "Uh, hi." He says silently. He looks tired. At this moment I'm so happy I have Sam as my friend. Well, I always am anyways, I love Sam. But I know he wants to make things okay again for us, so I decide to not talk about it for now and just drop it. So I do.

After class Jason stops me. "Hey, do you have a minute?" He asks me. Sam smiles and pats his shoulder, before leaving us alone for a minute. He has been silent the whole time in class. I nod. He takes me to a more private place behind the lockers. "I'm sorry..." He starts. I shake my head. "It's okay, I shouldn't have just brought it up, I'm sorry about that. But please just don't run away like that, I was so worried. You can't just do that, I kept looking for you... And how you just avoided me this morning... You don't owe me anything, I just met you, but after seeing you break down like that I'm ofcourse gonna be worried about you! Like I thought you were mad at me! Wait- Are you mad?" I stop for a second. I'm rambling. He shakes his head. "No! No- Oh god- Don't- Please don't think that, I'm not mad! I'm so sorry, you're right I shouldn't have done that, I promise that it's not going to be a habit or something- Just some things that I'm processing. I just want you to know that if I could tell you right now I would, but it's a bit too hard at the moment, so I don't really wanna talk about it again if that's okay... Maybe somewhere in the future, but really not right now." I smile reassuringly at him. "Ofcourse." I say. He looks like a mess. I look at the collar of his jacket and see that it's double. I grab it and slowly adjust it until it's right. "Thank you." He smiles meaninful. "For everything." It was just meant to help him, but I can't help but to get lost in his eyes again. And he finds me, every time. I get lost and he finds me.

2 months passed. Sam and Jason and I got closer and our movie marathons became a daily thing. We just laugh and are happy. And when we're together, all our problems sorta dissapear. I knew Jason wasn't okay, but I also knew he didn't want to talk about it. We've become alot closer, too. We talk about everything in life, about questions that are bigger than ourselves. We talk about everything, but not about what happened. I help him with homework. Because even though he only came here one week after this year started, he's still pretty behind in maths. It feels weird thinking last year is going to be my last year in this school, a last year for all of us.

"Alex? Are you awake?" Jason says. We are already laying in bed. (Beds, seperate beds.) "No." I say with a small yawn. He laughs at that. "Sorry, I'll let you sleep." "No no," I said tiredly. "Spill the tea." Jason laughs again. "There is no tea to spill. And, does anyone even say that, like ever?" "Well I do." I back myself up. "So, you got any news?" He asks me. "about what?" I ask back. "Dunno, about anything. I'm bored." "Well, let me think for a minute.." I improvise. "Nothing." I sigh after a while. He giggles. "Nothing? You can't come up with ANYTHING? Not a single thing? Damn, that's pretty pathetic if you ask me." I laugh. "Well excuse me but it's late, my brain isn't functioning properly." "Mine is never really, my maths test went bad again." He grimaces. "Oh no, and we studied for so long!" I sigh. "Hey it's not my fault, you're pretty much distracting me."

I look up at him, wich wasn't really easy, as our room was already almost completely dark and the only thing that brought light to his face was the blue clock. Sometimes I miss the light my Yellow curtains brought. "What-how? How?" "Because you do." He holds his hands in the air to stretch them. "You always do, especially when you say those math thingys and just being smart and stuff. Cute." I blush but ignore it. "Maths thingys? Do you ever pay attention to what I'm saying?" I ask. He laughs. "Well, I do now." "You need a new tutoring teacher." I giggle. "No, you're teaching me really well!" He says, in a puppy kind of adorable way. "You're failing maths!" I laugh. "Again, You're distracting me!" I keep blushing. "Well, this is why you need a new teacher." "Nonononoo, i'll try harder. I'll try not to look at your beautiful brown eyes again or the way you always blush when I say your name." I blush more. "Shut up." Is all I can bring out. "Okay Alex." He teases. I burry my head in my pillow. "Goodnight pepper boy." He calls me. Pepper boy? What the fuck did he just-' I touch my cheeks. Oh. He laughs. "Night." I say back.

I can't sleep. It's too hot. And he's too hot. And I just can't sleep. I keep turning. I hear sound next to me and then a weight. "I can't sleep either." He whispers. I blush as he puts the covers over us. And rests his head against my chest. ( I'm wearing a shirt, calm yourselves.) "Oh." I say nervously. He runs his hand through my hair. I close my eyes. "I really like you.." I whisper softly under my breath. Because I didn't think he could hear me. But he did. His head leaves my chest and he looks at me. "What did you just say?" My eyes go big and I look away. "I!- I mean- I really... Like your- YOUR SHOES! Yes, I really like your shoes." He's silent for a moment. Then he giggles. I gulp nervously. Good save Alex, you're doing great. He raises himself up a bit on one arm and put his two hands on my red cheeks. "I really like your shoes too." He says, as he leanes into me and kisses me.

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