You Want Brothers? Take. That. Back.

The New Principal

The sleek black car that has never once made me feel cramped, now feels as though the sides will cave in and swallow me whole. Hot in anticipation, my palms sweat and I feel nauseous.

I watch Evan in the passenger seat stretch out tiredly, his hair disheveled from practice. Kyle, driving the car, has a tight grip on the wheel and I can tell he's using the music he immediately switched on to deflect the attention from me.

He doesn't want to overwhelm me.

The gesture is sweet, but it isn't enough to revoke Evan's prying curiosity. Turning in his seat, my brother shoots me with the dreaded question, "so what did you do?"

What did I do?

My memory bank feels blurred, the discourse from today already being purged. I blink back at him, unsure of what to say.

Kyle stays quiet, no doubt interested in what I'll say. Aside from his own assumptions, he is also in the dark.

I shrug, "I got detention." Maybe if I keep it vague, he'll get the message.

"Yeah we figured. What did you do?" He presses.

Here we go.

"I needed some air in class so I stepped outside and apparently the principal saw me on the cameras."

"You needed air? That's why you were outside earlier?" Evan repeats slowly, not buying my excuse.

"Yes." I choose to not elaborate.

"Why?"

Why is that the part he's focusing on? He is just as short with his questions as I am with my answers, making it harder to avoid the truth.

After a moment I shrug again, sheepishly looking away, "Well he was really pissed. I have detention for the rest of the week. That's all that matters."

When neither one of my brothers reply, I glance up to find Evan staring at me with such scrutiny I feel see through. "Ella. Answer the question."

Shit.

Kyle sighs, "Evan don't push her." His gaze meets mine in the rear view, "Ella you can tell us honey, we're not going to flip."

"You won't." I murmur. Evan won't give a shit about me struggling in physics and having some stupid test anxiety, but having to admit I've been having this issue all semester to not only my brothers, but myself, feels strangely really hard.

Evan scoffs, "I will if you keep avoiding my questions."

"Not helping." Kyle reprimands, shooting him a look.

I am quiet for a while before I mutter, "I think I was going to have a panic attack." I don't know what possessed me to confess this, but it dawns on me that at some point I'll be forced to tell all of them anyway.

Kyle's eyes flick to mine, concern evident in the draw of his eyebrows.

Evan has finally run out of his retorts.

When I don't elaborate, Kyle pries, "was it something that happened in class? Camden mentioned you having a hard time in physics?"

My fingers dig into my palm, "We had a test. I wasn't as prepared as I needed to be, and my grade kinda depends on my score." My voice is resigned and quiet. 

Too soon, the cherry blossom trees that line the entrance to our home pop up through my window. I suck in a short breath as the tight, anxious feeling in my chest surfaces again.

"Ella, whatever's going on we can figure out okay? I don't want you to shut yourself out because you think we won't listen." Kyle turns to look at me after switching the car off.