"Those bratty orphans are probably in the library," Olaf groans, "They're drawn to libraries like mice to cheese, or parents to fires, or cats to catnip, or a hobo to a dying possum."
"The sugar bowl is probably there!" Mum gasps, "It's very very very important to me."
"You might've mentioned," I roll my eyes. Olaf tries walking away, but mum storms after him, yelling, "Beatrice stole that sugar bowl from me. I want it back! If I don't get it, Olaf, I... I actually don't know what I'll do... Go find those orphans."
Olaf storms off, practically sprinting, and mum turns to look at us all. She walks over to me, and strokes my hair, sighing. I look up at her, pausing, and she snaps, "Xalia May, if I don't get that sugar bowl, I swear..."
With that, she stands, leaning against the wall of the corridor. I stand, looking at her and sighing. The tall hench person sighs, "She's beautiful."
"She's scary," The person of no immediate gender groans. I look between them both, before scoffing, "She's my mum! Keep your eyes off of my mum."
The tall hench person smirks, and I snap, "I will gouge your eyes out with my bare hands. We're in a hospital. Don't. Tempt. Me."
I storm over to Olaf, who has come out of the library of files. Mum snaps, "Olaf, they're getting their filthy hands all over my sugar bowl! What are we going to do?"
"Plan number B."
It's moments like this, where I have to really pause and just wonder, was he always this stupid? I don't think people are born stupid, but honestly... he might be an exception. Like, truly, I think Olaf may have been dropped on his head as a baby. How, HOW, has he gotten this far in life? I follow Olaf to the head office, as he explains, "We need someone young. Someone that Bab's will trust. Someone who looks sweet and innocent."
He looks at me, along with everyone else, and just says, "Stall her. Trust me, honestly? You just need to get her to leave her office."
"Fine!" I snap. Slowly, I walk to the door and knock. She smiles at me brightly, and I ask, "May I have a seat?"
Babs nods and I take a seat opposite her. She asks, "How may I help you today, darling?"
"Babs," I spin round on the chair, before looking at her, "How many times a day would you say you do paperwork?"
"I'm always doing paperwork," Babs sighs, "I mean, I have to do paperwork. Paper makes the world go round. Paperwork is important. In fact, I have to go, sorry."
She get up and runs out the room, leaving me to stare at the queue of people outside. I sink into Bab's chair, and spin round until that gets boring. Then, I look down at the papers on her desk. Snicket files? That's weird. And something I will absolutely not be mentioning to mum or Olaf at all. In the car, Olaf screamed about Snicket for so long, that it was genuinely getting on everyone's nerves. I lie my head on the table and groan. Olaf had a plan, that I was excluded from. There is a bang as the door swings open and I look up. Mum, Olaf and Bab's walk in, but Bab's has been tied to a chair, and is being dragged into the room. I gawp, get up and move as Bab's is directed to the intercom. She gasps, "I would just like to announce my super early and unexpected retirement. My replacement will begin immediately."
Mum drags Bab's away, and takes the keys off of her wrist. Olaf moves to the intercom and smirks, saying, "Thank you Babs. Emergency news flash, there is a report of murderers in the hospital. There will be bed checks each and every night until the murderers are found. After all, nobody wants to be murdered to death in their sleep."
The hench people all walk in, and after a brief talk, are all assigned to jobs. Mum, Olaf and I sit watching the cameras, until mum groans, "Olaf, your hench people are useless."
"Boss, this hospital gives me the creeps," the radio crackles alive.
Mum looks at Olaf, glaring, before getting up and slamming the door as she leaves. Olaf looks at me, and I shrug. I don't know what she wants. Contrary to popular belief, I don't know everything about her. Olaf sighs, "I hate boring television."
Then, his eyes light up and he starts giving out demands. I strain to see what he is saying, but stop when he laughs as three hench people crash into each other. I'm starting to wonder if maybe, just maybe I was right. Olaf is stupid. Olaf was dropped on his head as a child. Olaf has a few, multiple screws loose. Olaf. Is. Dumb.
He looks at me, and asks, "How is school?"
I blink, before realising he is actually serious. Slowly, thinking of the words, I say, "Well, Olaf, I've never been."
"Why?" Olaf scoffs, "Even I went for a little bit. Got kicked out, but that isn't the point."
"WHY?" I mock, "Okay, you can know. Before you came into my life, it was perfect. I was the prettiest at all of my job interviews. I was working all these modelling jobs. It was perfect. My life was truly perfect. I was so happy. I didn't have time for school. I was basically a fully functioning human. I was rich, too. Old money. Then, THEN OLAF, I've been ripped from the city. First, we went to a disgusting town that made me want to scream. It was boring, right? RIGHT OLAF? AND THEN- DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE CAR JOURNEY. LEARN TO DRIVE!"
I lunge at Olaf, my nails poised directly for his eyes. He manages to nudge me away, and as I fall to the floor, he gasps, grabbing me so I don't land directly on my face. I twist to sit on a chair, and ask, "What was that?"
"Pure hatred for you."
"I don't... not like you."
"I don't not like you either."
YOU ARE READING
Xalia Squalor; because sometimes being in is not enough
FanfictionXalia Squalor is exactly who she wants to be. She's pretty, she's rich, and she is famous. But there is one small thing. She doesn't have a full tea set. Or at least, her mum doesn't and it's ruining her life. Meeting the Baudelaire orphans is both...
