Xalia Squalor; because sometimes being in is not enough

Water is wet

"I'll never laugh again," Olaf mopes. I roll my eyes as he continues, "See, my lips can't even make the sound. All joy and mirth has been sucked out of my life by... what are those parasitic things that cling to you and suck your blood?"
"Leeches?" Hookie suggests. Olaf turns to face us all, and snaps, "Families. Without the Baudelaires to torment, there is no light, no air, no prescription moisturizer because someone forgot to PACK IT."
I stare at Hookie as Carmelita says, "Stop being depressing. It's depressing me."
"Get over it," Olaf scoffs, "Life is the pits, and you can't get everything you want no matter how handsome and good looking you are."
"But I'm adorable-"
"LOOKS FADE."
I stand, walking over to Olaf. The screen tracker thingy is beeping, and a huge question mark appears. It's getting closer to our little icon, so I tap Olaf on the shoulder. He shrugs me off, so the tapping turns into more of punching. Finally, he looks over at the screen, and whispers three words. The Great Unknown. Mum walks over, and whispers, "I thought that was a myth, like gravity or inner beauty."
Hookie races to turn out the lights, and we all freeze in silence. Our eyes are glued to the screen as the great unknown passes us, and another little icon appears, this time as a Q. I ask, "Olaf, what is that?"
Olaf's face twists into a smirk as he says, "The Queeqeg."
"That's captain Widdershin's ship," Hookie gasps. Carmelita scoffs, "Widdershins? That sounds like a skin disease."
"Close," Olaf says, "It's a volunteer. He owes me fifty bucks."

I begin walking out the room as an argument ensues, glaring at the walls. Wires and metals are exposed, and I'm yelled back into the control room. Miserably, I do so, confused as Olaf begins laughing. It's hardly a laugh, but I'm instructed to go down to the Queeqeg and see if I can find anyone. I clamber in, and scoff as Olaf follows me. He booms, "I'm nauseas with mirth. HA HA HA."
Mum pushes passed me, in a strange, purple octopus outfit. A man compliments her, and I gawp as the Baudelaires stand up. Olaf scoffs, "What a fortunate turn of evens. I was planning on torturing someone for your location, but now I can skip the middle man."
I walk over to them, and grab Sunny into my arms. Olaf rips the control panel apart, and says, "I was heartbroken that I wasn't going to murder you. Where is the old man anyway? I thought this was his sub."
"He left," Klaus shrugs. Olaf sighs, "Who is the captain then?"
"I'm the captain," Violet quips. Mum glares at her, before saying, "I don't believe that."
Violet tilts her head.
"Because I'm too young?" She asks.
"Because you're a girl," Mum rolls her eyes.
I say, "You were the captain-"
"I am a woman," Mum spits. Olaf groans as the Baudelaires try sprinting away, but they fail. I wince as Mum says, "Darling..."
"One second pet," Olaf says.
"The sugar bowl-"
"I know you want it. I will find you it as soon as-"
"DARLING?" Mum yells. She looks at us all, and I follow her gaze. It's me, Carmelita, Olaf, her, Violet, Klaus, Sunny, and a random man. Mum composes herself, and says, "The orphans have already found the sugar bowl."

                                                                                  ***
The Baudelaires are sent into the ocean to find the sugar bowl, and I am told to have a look round the Queeqeg. My first impression? Really fake gold. The colour scheme is outdated, and really out too. The office is piled with research, and I strain to listen for anything. Someone is breathing, trying to hush themselves. I walk to the desk, and lean down to look beneath it. A girl stares up at me, her eyes wide. I whisper, "The world?"
"Is quiet here."
I shrug, "I have no idea what that means. Everyone who has worked with the Baudelaires has brought it up though, and reading is proving useful as always. What's your name?"
"Fiona," the girl whispers. I say, "Well, Fiona, it's nice to meet you. Are you the captain of this submarine?"
"Just until my father get's back," Fiona says.
"Until then," I sigh, "It seems Olaf has gotten the submarine. My name is Xalia May. I'll leave you alone, and pretend I haven't seen you."
I get up, and walk out the office, gasping as Hookie crashes into me. He barges passed me, straight into the office, and I realise there is nothing I can do to help Fiona. I walk uncomfortably back to Olaf, who is proudly spinning round on a chair. The Baudelaires have been gone far too long at this point. I sit down with Olaf, and gasp as a buzzer dings. The Baudelaires are back. I sprint along with Mum and Olaf, all to water door thing. Violet is looking at Sunny, her eyes wide and horrified. Through the door, I ask, "What's happened? Are you all okay? Do you have the sugar bowl?"
"No bowl," Violet says, "But Sunny has been infected with The Medusoid Mycelium. You need to let us out, and you need to let us get an antidote."
"The Medusoid Mycelium," I look at Olaf, "Olaf, you need to let them through, or Sunny is going to die."
Olaf stares through the door, at Violet, Klaus and Sunny. Violet has tears welling in her eyes, Klaus is panicking, and Sunny is coughing. Olaf asks, "Have they got the sugar bowl?"
"No, but Sunny will die without the antidote," Violet snaps, banging on the door. Olaf sighs, "Well, now that you've said that, I just want to say one thing. I antidon't care! Xalia, go to Carmelita and your mother."
"Can't you see Sunny coughing?" Klaus snaps. Olaf nods, a flash of something new creeping across his face. He sighs, "Yeah, I can. I can also see myself not caring."
Hookie walks over to us, and Olaf demands, "Take the orphans to the brig. I'm going to go and spend time with myself. Self care is important when not taking care of orphans. Xalia, come."