The Four Interchanging Lives of Regulus Black (Harry Potter Fanfic)

Not There

"Where's Regulus?"

Sirius took a deep breath, glancing around among the first years in their house and didn't see his brother, finding himself quite confused regarding why his younger brother wasn't present when he was sure—

"Regulus was sorted into Gryffindor. My brother is here with me, and I can stop him from dying. I can change his future, or..."

There arose that faint memory of a voice saying, "Please try again."

Under normal circumstances, Sirius might chalk the experience up to the rumored Black family madness, something that manifested in his cousin Bellatrix in psychotic tendencies where she wouldn't hesitate in killing him, a blood relative. And with his mother, it manifested in her becoming a shadow of herself, acting quite rabid in the portrait, like some sick joke twisting his Animagus form of a dog against him.

Yet—

"I know I died, and I know that I'm back where I began, for some reason or another," Sirius thought. "It's there, existing..."

A shiver ran down his spine, and he could not place why the voice felt so old, so archaic. Thinking of the voice, he likely should have forgotten; he shouldn't be remembering how dark the feeling that accompanied the thoughts of that voice telling him to please try again, yet he did remember.

"Because every time we shift, I think I've been hearing that voice way back in my head," Sirius thought. "And I get that same dark feeling in the pit of my stomach that something isn't right, but this feels like someone is playing a game with me, torturing me." His eyes closed. "Playing around with the fact I regret not being able to save Regulus."

"Sirius!"

Sirius felt someone grab his arm, pulling him along, resulting in him realizing he'd stopped moving with the rest of the group. James looked at him, worried. "My brother."

"Don't worry about him," James said, which made Sirius feel ill. "If we don't make it to our dorm room with everyone else, we won't know the password and be in so much trouble with the professors! The last thing either of you need is a Howler from your mother tomorrow morning."

"Won't he..." Sirius stopped speaking, letting James pull him along, his mind swimming. "But what do I say? If Regulus was sorted into Slytherin, there is no Howler coming tomorrow. If he was sorted into another house, there is a Howler coming no matter what because that mother of ours..."

Sirius sucked in his breath, closing his eyes.

"Never thought I'd ever call that woman my mother again, but Regulus—I want Regulus! I want to be able to hug him, to tell him he'll be safe, and this time, I won't let him die, but I can't, can I? Not without seeming quite mad."

They arrived at the dorms with everyone else, and they entered the common room, the Fat Lady portrait annoying him as she always did.

"Certainly didn't mind tearing up her portrait when I escaped from Azkaban to go after Pettigrew," Sirius thought, and then he gaged. "And yet I'm still in the same house as that rat!" He closed his eyes. "Remember, remember. He's not yet turned traitor. You can't hold..."

And then came the pause in thought.

"You can't hold the future against him?" Sirius felt a shudder run down his spine. "Isn't that what you did to Regulus, holding the fact you were convinced he would be a Death Eater, that all Slytherin turns out evil against him."

"Oh."

And then came the cringe, that dark feeling, and Sirius felt the welling panic rising in his chest again, unsure of how he'd gotten from one place in the common room to another, that voice of trying again in the back of his head. "What?" He took a deep breath. "Where's Regulus? Where's my brother?"

"Slytherin dorms?" James said.

"Yes, but..." Sirius frowned. "Not sorted here. Not sorted here this time around, but why do I feel like things have shifted again." He ran a hand through his hair, twisting the locks of hair. "But I was sure. I was sure he was with us!"

"Oh. He was with us on the train until he had to get on the boat," James said. "Look, I know you wanted him to be sorted into Gryffindor, but..."

"Black."

Sirius flinched upon hearing McGonagall call out, his eyes on the ground. "What the bloody hell have I done this time."

"Sirius Black!"

"Here!" he said, meekly raising his head.

"Apologies. I know you were hoping to head to bed," the deputy headmistress said. "Or at least I hope you boys would be doing that rather than sneaking out?"

"Oh, um, yes?" Sirius grinned, putting on the charm.

"Come with me, please."

"I—but I didn't do anything wrong! Honest!" Sirius said.

McGonagall sighed. "And you wouldn't have the impression that's why I was here if you and your friends weren't constantly getting in trouble just to irritate that mother of yours. And yes, I know you do it for that reason, Mr. Black."

"I—oh," Sirius said, swallowing.

"But why?" James asked. "Why is Sirius..."

"Your cousin Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy," their head of house said. "Just brought your brother to the infirmary. And..."

Sirius took off, speeding to the portrait entrance of the common rooms.

"Mr. Black. Slow down!"

"But Regulus is!" And then he was off, speeding to the infirmary. Upon arriving, he tore the first curtain open. "Regulus! Regulus, where..."

"Shut your mouth."

Sirius stiffened, hearing Lucius Malfoy's voice, but didn't turn his head.

"He's asleep, so come here. Quietly, if you're able."

He hurried over, but from the look on Narcissa's face, he wasn't as quiet as she wanted him to be. He took a deep breath and saw his brother lying there, cloth on his forehead. "Cissy, what happened?"

"We don't know. He just reacted the moment he got into the Slytherin common rooms," Narcissa said. "He vomited and blacked out."

A handset was down on his shoulder. "Black, you didn't..."

"You think I would?"

"You were with Regulus on the train."

"He's my baby brother, Malfoy," Sirius said. Then, letting a sigh, he sat on the bed, lying down next to Regulus while reaching out for a hand, perturbed by Regulus not moving, not pulling away from him. He reached out and brushed a lock of hair away from Regulus' forehead. "Can I stay?"

"You..."

"I'll ask," Narcissa interrupted her boyfriend. "I'll convince her. I haven't seen you two like this since you were very small."

Sirius brushed a lock of hair away from his brother's face. "What is she talking about? I don't remember ever being this close, but I guess by small she means when I was too young even to remember?"

His cousin got up, moments later coming to let him know he'd permission to sleep in the infirmary that night.

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief, grabbing Regulus' hand as he fell asleep. "Thank you, thank you!"