Moonlight Desire (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 38

Rylan POV

Why he rescue me? Why he didn't just let me die? I wouldn't have a second strength to muster the strength to attempt second suicides. I scare and shame to face with my son as I have set a bad example for him. I lay onto white bed with Ivan snoring near me.

Somehow, seeing the man lying near me make my heart skip faster and in peace. The throbbing heavy pain disappeared the times he sealed his mark on me. Gosh, the mark pain sent a shiver running down my body to the core. The feeling was different from the one I shared with Alfred.

I touch the mark and it still sends the wave of shiver and electric current to my entire vein. Ivan moans and moves slightly in his sleep as I caress the mark. It as the mark can use to control Ivan body. What if I use the mark against him?

Argh the evil me still want to surface again. My face is blushing when notice I wore the oversize clothes that hold a heavenly scent of mate that keep loving the weak me. I watch the calm wave of breathing up and down the chest beside me. His skin color drastically changes into better look. Is this how powerful once mate close to each other? What will happen if both of party seals an acceptance as a mate?

I'm a sinner for both of person equally important to myself. If rejection is hurting then what the degree of pain, I had granted to them. Why Ivan never gives up from chasing me? Why he endured the pain of rejection over and over? I don't quite understand about the people in love plus sharing the mate bond.

I'm naïve and it is understandable. I may have fallen in love with Alfred but the love we shared was half of the love that Ivan showed me. How I want to face Allen? I feel ashamed, as I have harbored the nasty word just to ward them off. No matter how reluctant I voiced it, I should not ever mutter those hurtful words to him.

I need to throw away the egoist and proud. I need to restart myself to turn a new leaf. I need to ask forgiveness from Allen. I don't want to let him take my word as a serious one. I need to make an explanation the meaning behind those hurtful words.

Argh, I feel the surge longing to hug my baby boy. I gently push the hand that circle around my waist, slowly walking out from the comfortable bed. I went to the bathroom. I saw the ugly reflection of myself in the mirror. The wild beard decorates my face. When the last time I trimmed my face? The crack lips and messy hair bed.

Nonetheless, the very thing that attracts my sight is the fresh mark on my neck. The beautiful mark that means I belong to him. An absolutely belong to him. The mark had successfully erase the old one. I trace the mark and shuddering from the sensation, it had caused. I know the mark is half done because it didn't involve the sex intercourse. The mark only to improve the healing rate after I foolishly failed attempts the stupid suicide.

I take the spare toothbrush, brushing my teeth, but still can't tear my sight from the mark. The mark seems like half completed me in one and another way. After a long deprive slept and depression finally I got a ways to follow the ray of light. Should I follow what my heart desire most? Were the things will get better? Would he keep love me in sad and happy days? Do I better enough to be his life partner? Time. Yeah, I need a little more time to sort of the thing, to observe if my choice is correct or not. The choice doesn't involve us only, but Allen as well.

But resistance wouldn't be the crucial matter anymore. With his mark proudly embed in my neck the outcome had been sealed. I don't have any choice but to stay close to him or I will become the one who is slowly killing him. Another thing if I leave him, I either becomes the target to other because an alpha's mate is a favorite target for those bad werewolves. I don't want Allen to lose anybody of us anymore. It is enough for him to only one through that tragic death.