The Intern

More fun and games

The guillotine was presented in the middle of the stage by Harley who struggled to move it. Annie had refused to help and just wanted Batman to come. Where was he? Why wasn't he here? The audience gasped. A few of them did not even know what a guillotine was and were shocked to see the barbaric object even included.

"Did you know the guillotine was originally used for a more humane method of execution?" The Joker asked the audience. "Fun fact for you kiddies."

One of the brave prison officers stood up. "Nothing humane about this." The others looked around at him knowing that he had just made a death wish. However the Joker waved it off. "I thought about choosing my volunteers more fairly this time."

Harley brought out two spinning wheels and hanged them on the wall. The first wheel consisted of numbers from 1-20. There were nine rows present in the theatre room. Harley gave the wheel a practice. "You see?" She said spinning the wheel. "Whoever sits in that row will be our lucky volunteer."

"And the second row?" The Joker asked although he knew the answer. After all he was the one who planned it.

"The second wheel shows numbers from 1-10. There are ten seats in each row. So we will spin both wheels to get that volunteer." She span the first wheel. "Row 2."

All of row 2 awaited their fate. The rest of the rows relaxed a little for now. Harley span the second wheel. "And it is number....4."

The Joker smiled. "Whoever is in row 2 seat 4, stand. You will take part in this trick. Unless anyone else takes an offer?" The unlucky doctor got up. The warden felt sick. He knew that the Joker could go on with this for ages. The torment would get to people eventually. Obviously nobody stood up and the doctor looked around frantically.

"Please someone help me." It was a pitiful sight. Annie felt so sorry for the poor man. The remainder of the audience kept silent and waited with bated breath.

The man positioned himself in the guillotine and waited for the blade to chop off his head. He knew he was going to die. There was no hope or reasoning with these people. The last thing he would see if the audience who did not want to know clapping at whatever the result.

The Joker take out a card. "Now audience this man's life is in your hands. I am going to ask three question. Best two out of three wins because I am generous like that. Question one: Who is everyone's favourite villain in Gotham? I will give you a clue, it is not Harley." He burst into fits of laughter whilst Harley frowned. She span the wheel and muttered something about "lousy men" and told Joker the person who was going to answer all of the three questions. Annie was trying to point to the Joker but Harley blocked her way.

"No cheating sweetie."

The cleaner stood up. "The Joker." He answered.

"Ding ding right answer. Question 2: What food do I despise? Clue it is red. Ha ha ha." He looked at Harley who rolled her eyes. "I know you know Harley."

The cleaner stood up again to answer. "Strawberries." He shrugged.

Harley put her thumb down. "Oh dear. Nope. Cherries actually."

The Joker rounded on her. "HARLEY. I WAS SUPPOSED TO ANSWER. STOP TRYING TO STEAL THE SHOW. Question 3 and you better get this one right otherwise this guy is..." He made a gesture by pointing to his neck pretending to cut it with his finger. "What is your name anyway? Sorry forgot to ask in all of my jollies."

"Brian." The doctor was closing his eyes.

"What are the two names Harley calls me?"

Harley did a tiny squeak. The Joker just stood there grinning and patting Brian's face.

"Umm Mister J and..." He looked at the poor man whose eyes opened and were as wide as anything. His teeth were grinding down and sweat poured from his face.

"Some sort of food or dessert....honey?"

"WRONG. Right answer is puddin. You know what that means. Sorry Brian. This is your last act." He laughed as he pressed a button. The blade went very quick. Annie had to look away. No scream was heard. Just the sound of someone rolling off the stage as the audience sat there not even wanting to breathe. The curtain closed to clean up.

The Joker composed himself immediately whilst some of his men removed the head which had fallen off the stage. It took them a few minutes to set up for their next trick. In that time Annie had tried to run again but was tied up by Harley who looked squeamish.

"I wish I never looked." She gagged. Annie gave her a hard kick sending Harley toppling backwards. She regained herself looking angry. "Look kid, Joker does not know but I deliberately did not put on the second wheel seat number 8 as I know you daddy sits there. You want me to add it on?"

Annie gasped. "Why?"

"Because he is your parent and I care about you."

The curtain rolled back up and held two steaming pots of green gloop. The audience knew it was threatening and started to shout out.

"Now now folks. Let's keep this show rolling. Just to be clear this is another question round and the steaming pots are holding acid. Trust me it burns. I need two volunteers for this one. Harley? If you please."

Harley span the two wheels and announced the row and seat number. The two volunteers (one doctor and The Riddler) sat on two platforms which rose up into the air above the steaming pots.

"Ok there will be three questions. If one gets the answer right, the other will go down a peg."

Harley cut in. "So you are playing against each other?"

"Yes thank you Harley."

"No problem....PUDDIN." Harley said the last word loudly and the Joker knew what she was hinting to.

"Question one for the Riddler. "Why are you more unpopular than me?"

The Riddler scowled but looked down at the acid below. He had to play into the Joker's hands a little. "Because you are better."

"And smarter?" The Joker pressed on.

"NO. I AM SMARTER. YOU HEAR? ME." Suddenly his platform went down a peg. "No wait..."

"Sorry Ed. Wrong answer. Question 1 for the good doctor. "My flower on my jacket squirts out a certain something. What is it?"

"Ummm...water." The poor innocent doctor answered. His platform went down.

"Wrong. It is acid which is where you are going if you do not answer correctly."

"Even I knew that." The Riddler scoffed.

"Well that is why it is more fun Ed. Giving you a challenge." The Joker smiled. "Question 2 for you: Which of the Arkham guards is most annoying?"

"That is easy. Aaron Cash. Thinks he knows everything." His platform did not move.

The Joker clapped. "Well done. Where is Cash anyways?" He peered around. Harley went up to find him.

"Can we just get this over with Joker?" The Riddler asked nervously. Suddenly his platform went down again.

"No speaking when I am Ed. You are not playing the game fairly. Poor doctor...what is your name? I am terrible right Harl?"

"Sure thing Mr J. I think I found Cash for ya. He is in the seventh row.

"Oh yes I see him. Stand up Cash." The stubborn guard nodded no but Harley dragged him down. "You are annoying. All those times you picked on me and poor Croc." Joker shot him in the chest making everyone jump. "If you cannot play the game nicely, do not play at all I always say."

Whispers filled the theatre room. Was Cash dead? They looked at blood pouring from his body onto the stage floor and said no more.

"Anyways back to business. Oh dear Ed one more and you are going. Just don't be calling yourself the Joker now you hear? That is my name. Plus Harley would have two men to choose from."

"Yuck. Ed?" Harley put two fingers in her mouth and made a gagging sound.

"Question two..." he looked at the doctor.

"Doctor Thomas."

"Doctor Thomas." The Joker cleared his throat. "Who is your favourite inmate?"

Doctor Thomas thought for a moment. "I would have to say Ivy." He stated. Harley's face turned a little green.

"Wrong answer. You should not have favourites Doc." The doctor's platform went down.

"Ooh last question and you are both level. If someone gets this wrong then it is hello green face for them. It is so tense folks. In fact, whoever shouts out this first and gets it right will win. The prize is your life. It is a riddle."

The Riddler punched the air. The answer was in the bag.

"I see without seeing. To me darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?"

Both Riddler and the doctor shouted out together. "You're as blind as a bat."

The Joker smiled. "I know." He took a razor sharp boomerang and threw it cutting loose one of the contestants.

The doctor fell...fell into the steaming pot of acid only having one thought. "But I got the answer correct."