I Choose You

17. He's Gone (Edited)

Edited 

I haven't seen or heard from Aiden at all in the past week. I come to school, but I never see him. Not at lunch, not in the halls, the only time I barely even caught a glimpse of him was in sixth period, but he wouldn't even look at me. He would just walk past me like he didn't know me, like we hadn't shared some of our darkest secrets with each other. It was like I was a total stranger to him...and it hurt.

Every time I tried to look at him, or catch his attention he wouldn't even acknowledge my presence. It was like I was a ghost, destined to float in front of him and never be seen. It felt like Evan, all over again.

In Aiden's absence, Evan had insisted on us studying and spending time together. Normally, I would've been all for spending time with Evan, but for some reason, I didn't find it that exciting anymore. Now that I had gotten the one thing that I've always wanted, it was like something still wasn't right. Something was missing.

"Okay," Evan said, as his eyes flickered down the paper he was holding in his hand.

We were currently in the library, studying for US History. Although he and I didn't have the same class period together, we were still required to study the same things. His voice was just loud enough to make sure that it wasn't disturbing anyone, but for some reason...it was too quiet for me. I urged him to speak louder, but he wouldn't, insisting that we couldn't disturb the other students around us.

"Why were the League of Nations and United Nations created?" he asked, taking care to keep his voice just above a whisper.

I sighed, looking at him, my voice coming out dejected. "To prevent future wars,"

"Nice,"

His attention went back to the paper in his hand, and I kept waiting for something. Waiting for a sudden outburst, or for him to crack a joke, or say something that made me want to smack him, but he never did. And it was then, that I sat there and stared at him, that I started to remember the day that Aiden and I had sat in this very library. The day that he had taken it upon himself to fold and crease every single paper that I owned just to annoy the heck out of me. The day that I had hit him with my biology book and watched him topple right out of his chair. I couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face as I remembered that day. It was the day we had gotten kicked out of the library for being too loud.

As I sat there, thinking about how much I missed Aiden, my brain couldn't help but echo the words that he had said to me last week.

He broke your heart, shattered it into pieces—!

"What has been—"

Why the hell would you forgive him, after everything he did to you?!

"—the primary challenge—"

You just fucking forgave him?! Just like that!

"—faced by Hispanic immigrants—"

All you do is let him walk all over you!

"—since the 1940's?"

You think what you feel for him is love?! You think he loves you?! If you knew anything about love you'd know that when you love someone you don't treat them like shit!

That's all he's doing to you!

And as if his words echoing in my mind weren't enough, his face materialized out of thin air, the contours of his jawline, the spikes of his hair, the smugness in his features, it was all there. It was so incredibly real that when I saw his face I almost fell back out of my chair.

He smirked. I told you you'd miss me if I weren't here.

And then he was gone.

My eyes focused back in on my surroundings, but the words that Aiden had said were still processing through my brain.

Evan was waving his hand in front of my face. "Emery? Are you okay?"

He was right. Aiden was right. I would miss him if he wasn't here, constantly annoying me and folding my papers, cracking jokes, making me cry in laughter, or pulling stupid pranks just so I'd laugh. The truth was, Aiden was that light in my life. He was that person who was so incredibly infectious. Everything he touched lit up, everywhere he went he made you feel happy and not having him here anymore... it makes you realize things.

I guess what they say is true. You never know what you really have until you lose it.

"Emery, seriously? Are you okay?" Evan said, the concern in his voice so evident.

And as my eyes snapped up to look into his, to look into his deep, sea blue eyes, I realized in that moment... I don't want to be sitting here with Evan.

I—I want to be sitting here with Aiden. With the boy who lights up my life just like the moon lights up the night sky. Like a beacon of hope in the darkness. I looked at Evan and the three words going through my head, in that moment, I would never forget.

I want Aiden. 

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HOLY MACARONI SHE ADMITTED IT! SHE FINALLY ADMITTED IT! 

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Haha, thank you all so much for reading, voting, and commenting! It means the absolute world to me and I can not thank you enough! I hope you all are continuing to enjoy the story and believe me, it's far from over ;). 

Sorry for the late in the day update I was super busy all day. 

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Until next time! 

-Katy