Aly-Oops!

Chapter 13: The Strongest Force

"Evan?!..."

"Hi, Aly. These are my mates, Jerry and Nick." Evan waves at me, standing there in a dark blue "Flashes Basketball" t-shirt as his messy dirty blonde hair flops over his forehead.

I know those guys with him, they're Asher's friends..
They were at his Tourette walk.
"What are you doing here and how did you get inside my house?!."
"I told your mom I'm a friend of yours. I wanted to see how you are doing. You know, because of what happened at the carnival yesterday..By the way, you look absolutely stunning!"
"I just got out of bed!" I nervously giggle.
Which is why I really am not in the mood for company. Especially if the company is Evan...
"You didn't need to come over. You really could've just called..." I mumble.
"Oh, speaking of, I think I still need your number."
This won't be easy..
I sigh.
"Look, Evan. Let's go talk outside. And alone..no offense, Nick and Jeremy."
"It's Jerry."
"Sorry.." I roll my eyes.
I walk them in silence out of my house. Nick and Jerry walk over to the basketball court, and Evan and I sit down on the grass next to it.
"Evan. We can't keep doing this." I shake my head with sad eyes.
"What do you mean by this?"
"This! All of this!" I exclaim as a point my finger to the ground and draw a big circle in the air. "Everything that happened with us was a huge mistake and it needs to stop here."
"Aly. I thought you liked me."
"Well I..I was upset. Even though Asher is your best friend, I'm not going to blame you for what happened. I'm blaming myself."
"Uh huh."
"Evan, I'm dating Asher! I should never have kissed you! And even if I believe it's my fault, you should never have kissed me! And I don't know why you can't see that." I shake my head.
"Unless maybe you've just got a problem with Asher." I try to look into his deep brown eyes, but Evan just stares at the ground.
"Maybe you're right."
"What? Evan, why? As far as I know Ash has never done anything to you!-"
"That's just it, he hasn't! Asher has everything going for him, and maybe I wanted that to be me for once."
"Evan, that's-"
"Ridiculous?!" Evan yells. "It's because of me he's on Villanova. All of us. We got him down here to ensure the recruiters saw him. I was always there for him. And most of all, you were. And like always, like all good things, Asher throws it all away!" Evan yells.
"You know you're the one thing he has that I admire most. And I wouldn't take you for granted the way he does."
"He's not giving me away." I shake my head.
"Do you know how much I would give to be like Asher? And if I were, how much I would appreciate it? That's the difference between him and I. I'm a speculator. He just lives in the moment."
"And what's wrong with that Evan? He works hard for himself!"
Now I'm yelling.
"But he doesn't work for you..Aly I agreed with you one hundred percent at the carnival and stood up for you, I really don't understand why you want to cut me out all of a sudden."

"Well, I really don't understand why you are so angry with Asher?! You know one more thing Ash has that you don't? It is that he works hard for himself, he is driven to be a better Asher. You're his best friend, and he would never ever get angry at your accomplishments for the envy of wanting to be you!"
"Maybe I don't have any accomplishments, Aly! Maybe nobody ever gives me a chance!"
Man, the more I'm sticking up for Asher the more I know I need to make this work with him...
And did I really just say "man"? That's a word Asher would use!
"Maybe because he would never want to be me..." Evan sighs.
"And I don't blame him. Nobody should want to be me. It's crap to think I can ever get a contract. You can fine comb all you want, Aly. I'm not being sarcastic at all. Because there are millions of things Asher has that I don't. I'm always being given up on."
"Evan, come on.." I comfort. "Everybody is good at something that other people aren't,  Evan. We are all human."
"I'm sorry for what I said. I've just gone my whole life wanting to control everything in front of me when I know I can't. I just have such a loss of control with my life that I'm always making stupid choices. I hate that I've always been so envious of Asher. But Asher's always been loved, Asher's always been admired. Asher has always been this golden child who is sweet and funny and good looking. I can never be any of those things! That's why they gave me up.."
"We all think things like that, Evan. Even Ash worried the possible divorce was his fault. Also, if this is what you are getting all worked up about, just know that even though I'm upset with what I did with you, it doesn't mean I don't like you as a person. You are still a cool dude, Evan." I explain with a smile.

Evan looks like he is at a loss for words, so he just stares at the ground.

"..But why do you keep telling me people are always giving up on you?"

Evan takes a deep breath.
"My parents gave me up to my uncle when I was two. They changed their mind about wanting a child. It took them two frigging years to figure that out. So I had to move to a whole new country by myself to new parents."

I was not expecting that at all! That's...that's awful...

"Really? I'm so sorry...so..so you're not from America?"
"South Africa.."
"Oh wow..."
I never would have guessed anything like this about Evan. Goes to show you that you never really know somebody until you have a reason to.

"It's just so tough. Maybe I didn't want Asher to give you up the way my parents did to me. How can I not go through life thinking everybody dislikes me and that I am not wanted, you know? I know it's because of my past that I get like this. I am well aware of it, and it sucks..."

Wow...

Evan really isn't this "bad guy" I thought he might be. Even though it isn't true, in his mind Asher's busy schedule was like abandoning me the same way Evan's parents abandoned him. It's sweet that he's looking out for me, but this whole Asher thing is no where near his whole parent predicament.

Aaaaand this whole Evan thing really can't continue...

"It's ok, Evan. My brother has autism, and Ash has Tourette's. Everyone has something that gets to them sometimes."
"But those things are just part of who they are, it's something they have. They were born with it, it is just...them. You know? This is something that happened to me, something that somebody did to me." Evan tells me as he starts to cry.
Evan sounds like he's chocking on his tears in his voice as he slowly utters, "And that's the strongest force in the world, Aly. What people do onto you..."