Two Is Company

La La Land

"La La Land? More like La La Bland."

A melodramatic gasp echoes inside the room. Then a scoff, then a sharp slapping sound quickly followed by a loud yelp.

"How dare you, Lauren! That's one of my favorite movies!"

"You're so easy to please."

"And you're too hard to please!"

Lauren smirks at Camila's words. "Well, I mean, not really... All I need is your tongue --"

"Finish that sentence and I'll fart on Nala," Camila holds out Nala, which she has been cuddling (with Lauren's permission, of course, after Camila let her borrow Mr. Snuggles. A common practice now in Room 727).

"Um... all I need is --- is for your tongue to stay inside your mouth ---- and shut the fuck up," Lauren improvises. Then she makes a quick grab for Nala, patting her soft cottony head once she rescues her, mock-whispering to it that she's safe now from the evil clutches of Lord Fartymort.

"I can't believe you didn't like it," Camila says. "It was a beautiful film."

Lauren rolls her eyes, stretches her legs, and leans back with her head resting on her intertwined hands. "I didn't say I didn't like it, it was a nice story -- and yeah it was beautiful. I love the style -- the direction and the cinematography are superb. Love that last part -- I think it's the only part worth revisiting, though. Oh and maybe that tap dancing scene -- it wasn't that strong, but it was cute."

"They both did great."

"Oh god, do you even have ears?! I do love Ryan Gosling, I think he's a great actor, and yeah he's dreamy, and yeah okay he fits the character all right," Lauren says. "But the guy can't fucking sing! He ruined the mood for me the second he opened his big mouth and dragged all of us throughout the entirety of the movie with his struggling vocals."

"He's all right," Camila says in a tiny voice, her fingers playing with the frayed hem of her shirt.

"He's mediocre at best," Lauren scoffs. "I felt like I was watching two pals doing drunken karaoke sessions. They sounded dehydrated."

"You're too harsh! He played the part well, so did Emma."

"Because they're good actors, and they obviously know how to work around each other -- even though I'm really not a fan of their pairing -- but damn, why were they cast in a fucking musical!?"

Camila frowns. "Emma has a nice voice."

"Better than Ryan, that's for sure."

"For me, it's the story that's more important. It felt so sincere. That's what's important for me, and they delivered in that aspect."

"If it was a regular movie, I would have given that two thumbs up. Like I said, great direction, interesting aesthetics and camera movements, good acting, and the story is relatable. But musicals -- especially one so ambitious as to say it's paying tribute to the golden age of musicals, an era where we saw actual musicians and performers in films, and actually do the scenes and do it well -- are supposed to be larger than life -- which, fine, they did that, a perfect depiction of 'la la land'; it was so romantic and awe-inspiring. But musicals are also supposed to elevate the mood of a simple story, or a simple dialogue, or an emotion. And most importantly, musicals have songs. Songs that are meant to be sung at least competently, if not memorable. Ryan sang in one tone the whole time, like he's fucking going through the motions. What, he thought he's gonna get away with the whole scratchy brooding voice just because he gave us his dreamy eyes and tortured artist shit? He's off-key and boring, and it distracted me and kept me from absorbing the meaning of the songs because I was so annoyed with them singing."