Teach Me (GxG)

Thirteen

Tutoring Noah had been excruciating and painful so far. I kept as much distance as I possibly could. She sat across from me as we sat in the dining room connected to the main kitchen. I was tempted to tutor her in our much larger dining room that was used for big family dinners. There was a long dining table that would be perfect for keeping us apart, each sitting at the ends, facing each other and practically yelling so we could hear each other.

However, I knew that would be dramatic and suspicious, so I was stuck with her across from the smaller dining table, my legs easily able to reach her from under it. It was uncomfortable keeping my legs from stretching out as much as they craved, but I did not want to accidentally touch her with my feet.

I kept a blank face to hide the true nature of my emotions and spoke with a voice that sounded as if I would rather be anywhere but here. In fact a part of me did want to be anywhere but here, but I also knew that I wanted to be near her. I hated that, but it was the truth.

Usually tutoring her worked so well because I did most of the talking and she barely spoke a word. I was doing a lot less talking today, and Noah had to continuously ask me questions. "So glycolysis requires oxygen?"

I crossed my arms and stared into her eyes, trying my best to get her to know that that was incorrect without having to speak. It seemed to work, thankfully. She furrowed her eyebrows. "So... it doesn't require oxygen?"

I nodded ever so slightly to let her know that she was correct that time.

"Are you mad at me?" Noah all but muttered, although despite the added distance I could hear what she said. I noticed the small frown forming on her face.

I felt a tug at my heart. Great, now she thinks you're mad at her. Mixed signals much? I pushed my thoughts out of head as my eyes bored into hers. I wish I could be closer to her so I could see her beautiful brown eyes better.

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. I racked my brain for anything to say. I didn't know what to say at first. It's not like I would tell her how I actually felt, but I had to say something, anything. Should I be mad at her? No, that would be irrational. I couldn't be mad because of my feelings, but what could I say? Before I could think of anything else, I replied, "You lied to me."

At least that was partly true. I was mad at her for lying to me, and even as time had passed, it still crept into the back of my mind. Her lying was not my biggest concern, but her avoiding me again. I needed answers. I needed to know why she felt that she had to avoid me yet again. Knowing that she had avoided me twice mad me feel something. It was that familiar unfamiliar feeling in the pit of my stomach, the guilt churning in my body, my mind swirling and storming inside. Not you too, please.

Her body stilled. She stuttered, trying her best to form a sentence.

I rolled my eyes, trying to pass off my anxiousness to hear her response as being annoyed. I didn't have time for her to even think about lying or pretending like she didn't know what I was talking about. I wanted answers. I needed answers. "I know you weren't at work all those times you canceled our tutoring sessions.

She scratched at her head, her beanie atop it. Her eyes focused on her textbook. "My mom. She was...sick." She choked out, her voice cracking.

My face, previously void of any expression, was replaced with a softer one. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. Even with her facing downwards, I could see the looming sadness that was spread across it as if a dark cloud had just appeared over her entire body. It enveloped her, and the air grew solemn. I stayed silent, sitting forward in the chair and placing my arms on the table.