Our Time (BILLIE EILISH)

- E i g h t y t h r e e -

Later that day:

Maddie's POV:

How do you avoid someone when they're in your house? The answer is you can't so you have to pretend that you're not panicking about the fact that you're about to tell them the one thing that you don't.

4/4

y'all im telling her tonight. everything.

Dani: everything?

yes.

Dani texted me privately.

Dani💅🏼

everything.

mhmm

girl, I've been waiting for this day longer than I can admit.

I'm nervous, I can barely fucking talk, my voice is gone and my throat is on 500.

Tell her later.

today is the day fam.

She'll still love you.

she fucking better bro.

She will, I love you. Text me when it's about to happen.

okay. I love you too.

Read at 3:23PM

Okay so Dani knows more than the twins, I didn't mean for it to happen that way. I knew Dani before I knew the twins, and she was there before everything happened. The twins appeared right when it was all happening, so I didn't fill them on the shit that didn't matter. 

I'm not going to lie, I've been bipolar as fuck the last couple of days. Not like moods or whatever, like one minute I'll wanna cuddle and then the next I wanna be alone. Normally when I'm with Billie it's either one or the other, she can tell that something is up besides the fact that I'm sick. God damn, I hate how well she can read me.

She's been taking really good care of me and I love being treated like this, I hate the fact that I'm dying. She's always by my side. So like I can't go look at the notepad to make refresh my mind on what was written on it, if she catches me out of bed. She'll beat my ass; so I have to stay here and figure out how I wanna start this.

The thing is, I don't wanna remember before I tel her. I want this to very smooth. Almost like I'm filming a YouTube story time, not that those always go smooth. But I don't know I want to go in order, Billie only thinks that this bitch took up nine months of my life. But she took 2 and half years, I don't know, I feel like if Billie told me that she had a relationship that was two and half years. Then like I would be positive that there was like feelings, that will always still be there and I hate that. 

She made me take out my contacts, so I have to wear my stupid glasses. Don't get me wrong I don't hate them, but I hate them. I hate that I can't see with out assistance.

Okay back to what really matters, I'd rather tell Billie now, when we're just over a month- today's our one month. Omg this is great. It doesn't feel like a month, it feels like a year. We've been through hell- anyways. So if Billie does leave me, which I am really convinced that she won't but there's always that chance. I'm surprised that everyone was able to convince me that she wasn't going to leave, but I'm the only that change the way she looks at me. So what I'm getting at, is today, I can change the way that she looks at me. 

Billie walked in to me staring at the mirror in front of me.

Billie: "You good shorty?"

I nodded.

I looked at her, really about to regret my decisions.

Maddie: "Right now."

She looked at me, confused before she clocked what I was saying.

Billie: "Right now? You can barely talk."

Maddie: "I need... to get this over with."

Billie nodded, she handed me a water and then sat down by me. Fuck this is real, how the hell am I going to do this? I was spaced out trying to figure out how I was going to do this, this is a day that I really thought that it was never going to come. 

I got knocked back into reality and I looked at Billie, I started fiddling with my finger. I was so fucking nervous.

Billie: "Even though you know this, I'mma sit here and listen to you stutter and be at a loss of words. Only because you mean everything to me, and I wanna know what makes you... you."

Maddie: "Thank you."

Billie looked at me, she shook her head. She picked me up and placed me between her legs, she wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my shoulder.

Billie: "So you don't have to talk that loud."

I lifted my hand and stroked her hair, she's too good to me.

I'm so fucking nervous, I took one of Billie's hands from in front of me and laced our hands together. Shit dude omg. I started fiddling with her rings when it all hit me, that this is happening.

I tried to start the story but nothing came out, I don't weather it's because I'm sick or I don't know how to say what I wanna say.

I exhaled, I took my hand away from Billie's to scratch my temple.

Maddie: "Okay enough with this bullshit, I wanna get it over with. So I'mma start sobbing now." I joked.

Billie lightly laughed with me, but I know that she's pitying me. At this point I have to accept it. 

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y'all fam this is the chapter, leave your predictions down below. half of y'all have been reading this book consistently for months now, we have been building up to this. the bomb is about to go off, so therefore, i need to know what you guys think Maddie's going to say. is billie gonna stay? 

bro omg im shaking that the next chapter is literally the fucking bomb. chapter 84, y'all are gonna know what happened omg.

thanks ily

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