Our Time (BILLIE EILISH)

- E i g h t y f o u r -

im literally crying copying and pasting this in here. bro. 

I exhaled again.

Maddie: "Okay. Fuck." I took my hand out of Billie's and wiped my eyes, this is going to be a shit show.

I tried to hold back the tears that I had, normally I'm good at it. But today, I'm about to break any fucking second.

Maddie: "During this, I'm not going to look at you. Because I can not do that to myself." My voice was literally almost gone for two reasons. 

Billie: "You're fine." 

Am I though. No time for that Maddie. 

Maddie: "Okay, so I guess I'm going to start from the beginning. I've known Nicole since I was fifteen? I think I just turned 15 and she was already 15, so anyways. I met her at like this homeschooled park that a bunch of homeschooled kids would got to and hang out and socialize. I hated going there, the only reason I went is because of my hometown bestie went there with me. She was homeschooled from 3rd grade and up. But I've known her since preschool because we were neighbors up until I moved out of there, shit she might still live in that house. Anyways, she's not that important."

I paused cause that did a number on my throat.

Maddie: "So Nicole spotted me one day, while I was sitting with Winter, the hometown bestie and you know stupid little fucking Maddie. I liked people to be forward, so she came up to me and was like yo you're pretty we should hang out sometime. So I said sure, skip ahead a couple days. I asked my mom if Nicole could come over so I could help her with her science project or some shit, I don't remember what I said. At this time my parents didn't know I was bi. I knew it, but like I didn't think about it a lot, I went with the flow or whatever. So she came over later that day and we just talked and talked, we really fucking hit it off and I thought- never mind."

Maddie: "So it was like for 9-10 months, so she'd always come over. I wouldn't go to her house. Not that I didn't want to, I'd do anything to get away from my step sister dude omg." I wiped my eyes.

Maddie: "So, one day Winter took me... I don't fucking remember dude. So I saw that Nicole's car was in my driveway, so I was all happy that she was going to surprise me. I walked up to my room all sneakily trying to be quiet, but when I opened my door she wasn't there."

Here we go bro.

I was looking down at Billie's hand and I saw that a tear landed on her arm, I wiped it off of her and she squeezed my hand. 

(i am so sorry to interrupt, but i just got fucking shocked by my own story. proceed)

Maddie: "So I open Alexis' door, my step sister. They were hooking up."

I felt Billie's mouth open. Me fucking too honestly.

Maddie: "Yeah, so. That pushed me over the edge, I went into my room and packed my suitcase. Wait actually rewind a little bit, after I saw that I walked downstairs to talk to my dad and brother. This is like borderline the reason I'm so fucked up, my whole family knew that they were doing this behind my back for eight months. I don't blame my brother, he was like 9-10 at the time. He never saw a toxic relationship because my mom and dad were happily married, so he didn't know what was wrong. So basically, what I'm getting at here is. I can take my step sister fucking my girlfriend, I can take them sneakily doing it behind my back. But what I can't take is the fact they were able to manipulate my whole family into lying to me... for months... shit almost a year. I don't care what she said or did to manipulate them, that's blood, overall you shouldn't do that."

I wiped my eyes... again.  

Billie rubbed my shoulder.

Maddie: "So I walk back upstairs to pack because I don't wanna be at that house anymore, at this point I'm graduated and I'm just about to turn 16. That was my plan once I turn 16, I was moving to LA. So I packed and drove down here, I had my apartment already but I wasn't supposed to move into until two weeks later. But they let me move in early, so after all this shit happens it's like almost my birthday like a week before. At this point I have met met Dani and we're besties and we're still besties. So she invited me out to celebrate my birthday, there was a knock on my door and I was expecting it to be Dani. It was Nicole, she begged and pleaded me to forgive her. To save time, I forgave her."