The Society of the Ethereal Medallion

Why

Jane rubbed a clean towel doused in peroxide across my legs.

I shouted, gripping the wall of my bed tightly. I bit down on the belt; I could break it in two with how hard I was biting.

"I'm sorry." She moved from the small cabin bed to rinse her hands in hot water.

I had moments of calm where I would hiccup and slowly forget. But then I would remember and break into a fit of cries all over again.

"Is this...pain ever going to...go away?"

"With pain medication and some rest."

"Can you give me medicine for the pain in my heart?" I held my heart like it would come popping out if my hand wasn't there to catch it. "What can you give me for that? Huh?!"

She looked at me with pity, "I'm afraid wounds like that take a lifetime to heal, but I think he wouldn't have wanted you to be sad. If what I heard is true, he probably would've wanted you to go on living."

"We had time. Why didn't he let us save him?!"

"Because he didn't feel like he was worth saving. There was no life for him after this."

I cried harder, covering my mouth to muffle the shouts of painful calamity. I felt selfish. I was complaining about my problems, and Ares' was ten times worse than mine. I wish I were God, knowing all people, all hearts, and all things. I could have saved him with the power of Atlantis. I could have stopped Leo. I could have eliminated every evil being on this earth.

But I didn't. I was the destroyer. William was bound to hate me for the rest of our lives. I could have had the world, and instead, I chose the trauma of humanity.

***

I changed into some dry clothes when a soft knock pulled me to the cabin door. When I opened it, Fabian was standing outside with his hands behind his back.

"Hello."

"Hello."

It would take a while to get over the fact that he was my father. It would take a long time to undo the damage that the Brotherhood had done to me so long ago.

"We are having a meeting on the main deck; whenever you're ready, we'll need to have you present."

"I'll be out in a moment."

I sighed heavily when I shut the door and walked over to the bedroom mirror. The last time I surveyed myself, I knew who I was and my identity, but it was the identity they gave me this entire time. All of it was a lie.

Now what?

How did I build someone up that never existed to begin with? I was indeed and inconceivably a fraud.

My face was beaten, my right eye was swollen shut. I had cuts on my hands, gashes in my legs. I had handprints on my neck. I dragged my finger against my red skin.

I was always so strong, so confident.

I touched the finger of my reflection, looking into my own eyes.