Lovebirds

thirty-eight

Sometimes Naira wished that love could be something logical to analyze, that it could be forgotten if she chose to. Her arms still embraced Rayan as the two stood still against time, listening to each other's heartbeats as the only rhythm to the chaos that spurred from memories.

This is wrong, she told herself as her heart weighed the burden of her sin. There's no reason for me to hug him. I'm crossing my own boundaries.

Her grip loosened, and slowly like a needle ripping through cotton, she pulled away.

Her pulse raced against her veins, chest constricting painfully as a dizzy feeling entered her mind. Naira forced her legs to move, to step away from the temptation, to fight against the evil whispers. They tormented her, blinding her eyes with the a path of sin, one where she released herself of inhibitions, where she jumped into his arms and forgot the world around her.

No. Not like this.

The more she fought, the more her body yearned for more. Ya Allah, give me the strength to pull away.

He needed her, but she couldn't give herself to him, not when it went against her beliefs, not when it disobeyed Allah. Temptation was like a thirst. After a drink, she would be satisfied and guilt would pour through her. After a drink, the thirst would vanish and the dryness of her sin would come tumbling forward.

A part of her wanted to scream.

But it was the cracking tone of his voice that broke through her haze of fear, that calmed the nerves in her body as his deep tone sought her in the dark forest she seemed to walk in, a light seeping through the cracks to bring back her senses.

"Naira," he called out, eyes still glassy from talks of his childhood. "I'm sorry."

The fog cleared from her mind, her heart rate slowing down as she familiarized her surroundings. "Why are you sorry?"

His head bowed down as if in shame. "For making you feel like you needed to comfort me," he whispered. "I know this isn't what you want. I know it hurts you to be this close to me."

She shook her head, choosing to sit across from him, a safe distance between them and one that wouldn't cloud her judgment. "I should be the one apologizing. I overstepped."

His lips pulled into a tiny smile, one that didn't reach his eyes. "Life is hard, huh?" he chuckled, words as bittersweet as his gaze. "I thought escaping the monster from my past would be the only obstacle in my way. I had no idea how difficult it was to live from shelter to shelter, barely finding food for the night let alone a home to call my own."

Naira couldn't imagine what running away from home must have been like. Out of fear for his own life, he left his whole world behind, not knowing what the future had in store for him, not knowing the cruel realities in life.

Rayan inhaled a sharp breath. "When I saw the opportunity to audition for a boy band, I didn't have any hesitation for applying. I was in high school, finishing up for my graduation but having no money or plan for college. The money I made at odd jobs was what paid for rent and food, nothing else," he said, feeling haunted by his memories.

"And a boy band would give you everything you need as long as you sang for them and made your fans your top priority," she concluded, partly understanding his motives. "Did you think the Red Knights would be this popular?"

"No," he admitted, taking a sip of his drink from earlier. "To be honest with you, I didn't think Kyle or Wesley would be so important to me either. This was just a way to live my life in comfort without crawling back to my father."