Lovebirds

thirty-nine

The soft knocking on her door made Naira jolt upright on her bed.

"Yes?"

"Naira, honey, may I come in?" her mother's voice said, muffled by her door.

"Sure," she replied, swinging her legs off the bed. The door was unlocked, but Naira had a feeling this late night talk from her mother wouldn't be a simple one. It was either a long lecture or her mother's long rants about whatever book she was reading.

Her father and Daris were out for the night, spending some quality time with her uncles and their sons along with her maternal grandfather. It was a family guys' night out, which usually consisted of all of them going to her grandparents home and playing video games before ending the night at the masjid with Isha (night prayer). Her maternal grandparents thought family bonding was an integral part of being a Muslim, and they installed that vision into all of their grandkids.

It was the reason why Daris and Naira found no reason to move out of their family homes.

She was also saving money by not paying rent.

The bed dipped beside her, breaking Naira from her thoughts as her eyes flickered up to meet her mother's gaze. Something isn't right, she thought.

With hair pulled into a messy bun, eyes weary with fatigue, and stress evident on her golden skin, Naira could infer that her mother was withholding something from her.

There was no playful gleam in her eyes, no sparkle of mischief. Instead, a reflection of sadness stared back at her, a well of understanding that grew as time ticked on almost as if her mother was reading Naira's visage like she read her books. Emotions were fluid, yet sometimes emotions staggered around crooked rocks and sharp ends.

In Naira's case, she could see the staggering of her mother's expression, the way she hesitated her words, thinking to herself before a small sigh escaped her.

"I went to visit you at work today."

A winter's storm buried her under the icy frost that surrounded her. She felt a sudden chill, knowing exactly what this conversation was about. If her mother didn't approach her at work, it meant she saw something that made her turn around and go home.

She saw the embrace.

Desperately, Naira grabbed her mother's hands, fear eclipsing her at the disappointment she would feel. "Ammu (Mom), I can explain."

"No," her mother cut her off, voice stern. "Let me finish."

"But-"

"Listen," she stressed, pointing to Naira's ear. "When I was younger than you, I felt the temptations of love. I struggled every day, trying to stay faithful to my deen (religion) even when my heart wanted to lead me astray. I felt it too, Naira. I felt the tremors of love so deeply that I thought I would go crazy from it."

Naira bit her lip, nervously. "Y-You did?"

She nodded with crystal eyes, sincerity shimmering like pearls under the ocean. "When you fall in love, it's hard to see through clear lenses, and it's even harder to remember your faith when you long for something more," she whispered, speaking from experience. "I felt it all with your father. The more time we spent together at the library, the more I fantasized about a life without restrictions, without rules, without this constant worry of overstepping my bounds."

It was no secret that her parents fell in love before marriage. Her father wrote his first book about it, a New York Time's bestseller. Naira and Daris were never interested in their love story, knowing it would be too awkward for them to dig deep into their origins.

Yet she never expected the parallels between her parents' love and her own feelings for Rayan. Her mother was describing the very same struggle that almost drove Naira to insanity.

Inhaling a slow breath and releasing it in the same steady motion, she spoke in a soft tone, one that reminded Naira of her childhood when her mother would chastise her. There was a sanguine smile on her lips, a bittersweet feeling of adulthood and tremors of unfamiliarity that came with it.

"I'm going to tell you what your uncles told me," she said. "I trust you, Naira. Even if I'm not watching over you, Allah always is. We're humans, and we all make mistakes. What matters is how we grow from it and the decisions that we make afterwards."

Naira wasn't sure how to respond, nor did she know how to weigh her mother's words. Yes, people made mistakes, but she was letting her feelings grow stronger without any way of holding it back. Temptation was a fog of desire, beckoning her closer to the the forbidden until she could satisfy her curiosity and longing, yet she knew better.

She knew that a marriage was not built off temptation. The roses of love did not grow from lust. True love, one like her parents, came from the heart and the mind, followed a path lit with noor (light) and a home full of trust.

Her mother stood up from the bed, squeezing her shoulder one last time. "Think about it," she whispered, pressing a kiss to her head. "And remember that you're not alone. I'm always on your side."

Trust, she thought when her mother left. She trusts me to make the right decision.

For once, the fog began to clear from her eyes and it was as if Naira was seeing the world in new eyes. She didn't want to run anymore.

Not when the answer was right in front of her.

----

I'VE RETURNED. I had to put my writing aside to put my all into my major courses. It was not a fun time.

Anyway, I remember in "Bookworms" I alluded to the twins talking to Dina, so this is more or less the same type of advice they gave her. It's simple, but very effective. Sometimes you don't need a lot of words to make an impact ;)

What do you think Naira's "answer" is?

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