MATEO || bxb

- 20 -

| Camden |

It was nice here in Italy. We had a resort that we were staying in like a big hotel with a pool and lots of activities that they hosted throughout the day. The first few days we'd spent exploring though. Mum wanted to see the history and the culture so we travelled everywhere we could.

On the first day I burned a little in the sun but now I seemed to be sporting a faint tan and so did the rest of my family. Adrian's hair had gotten lighter, bleached by the sun, but my hair was already dyed blonde. Maybe it got blonder, I don't know.

I was really glad we'd come here together as a family. It would probably be one of our last family holidays for a while. Adrian would be going with friends in the future, maybe a girlfriend if he got one. Maybe if I made new friends at uni I'd go somewhere with them and Mateo had already said I should go with him to Spain. And, as much as my parents say they were going to miss Ade and I coming with them on holidays, I think they were also ready to be able to go away on their own, relive their early twenties when they used to go backpacking all over Europe; two young twenty-something-year-olds in love not knowing that a very tiny Adrian was brewing inside our mum.

It was still nice to be together as a family here, sun on our face and cocktails in our hands, a mocktail for me, at the resort when it got late. Last night there'd been a magic show, which you would think would be a bit cringey and boring, but it was actually amazing. The resort had organised it with some big shot magician and it was a spectacular event. Even Ade had seemed impressed, and he was the most skeptical of magic in our family. Sometimes I found myself so awed, like when the magician started floating things on stage, and I swear I couldn't see any wires, that I'd have to message Mateo all about it and send him photos. I wish he was here, that would be the one thing that could have made all of this any better.

Today we'd had plans to just stay at the resort. We'd done a lot of walking yesterday and with the magic show going late into the evening and the rest of my family getting piss drunk, we'd decided our feet and our brains were too tired for much adventuring today. I'd had to carry mum bridal style to her room last night while Ade helped my dad who threw up in some bushes.

It was cute though to see them acting like teenagers, and they were always loved up together but especially when they got drunk, it was like they had stars in their eyes when they looked at each other. I wanted a love like theirs one day that had prevailed and stayed strong all these years.

I'd laid mum down in her bed as she giggled. I think Ade had taken dad to the bathroom to clean himself up a little. "Mmm, my beautiful boy. You've been smiling more lately," mum cooed running her fingers through my hair while I sat on the bed with her. "I've missed your smile."

"It hasn't gone anywhere," I said.

"It did though. It was gone for a while. I missed it so much. You've been sad, but Mateo makes you so happy doesn't he. I'll always love that boy for bringing back your beautiful smile," mum went on. I hated how I'd upset her this past year with my sorrows, but I was smiling more like she said and a lot of it did have to do with Mateo. But it wasn't just him. I'd also just been proud of myself with how much progress I'd made lately and that made me smile too. I knew, no matter what, I needed to focus on finding happiness in myself and not finding it all in someone else because as much as I liked Mateo, there was no guarantee that he would actually be in my life forever.

Adrian soon managed to get dad to bed, and we'd left them to go back to our own rooms. I'd messaged Mateo goodnight and woken up to a good morning message from him. It had been a great start to my day, and I was glad to be having somewhat of a rest today.

My brother and I went exploring around the resort while our parents recovered from their hangover, which they'd described with some colourful words. We'd found a casino on one of the floors and they had a few games where you didn't have to play with real money, so we'd killed a few hours at a poker table.