The next morning I had already come to terms with the fact that Karter and I needed to talk.
Honestly, it seemed to be the only thing on my mind, and it was distracting me from the schoolwork I was trying to complete.
I was waiting for a text from Karter indicating that she was up—but now that it was going on three in the afternoon, I was growing a little impatient.
It was like all the thoughts had wound up into a giant ball over the course of the night, and I just couldn't keep them all in any longer.
My eyes darted up when my bedroom door opened, about to tell a Cher that I just wanted to be alone, but halted completely when I saw Karter in the open doorway.
She walked further into the room, closing the door behind her, "I'm sorry," she immediately said, walking toward the bed that I was currently laying in.
I'm assuming that either Davis or the twins filled her in on what she did last night.
I sighed as she climbed into the bed beside me, "What you did was really messed up," I said, closing my laptop.
Karter nodded a few times, "I know—I really fucked up."
I shook my head, "And then you only trusting Chicago because she's been cheated on?" I pointed out, knowing that the trust factor on her end really bothered me.
"Was and still is fucked up," Karter admitted, laying back in the bed with a remorseful look on her face. "I guess I just felt really weird about you guys and hearing that helped me trust her? I know it's fucked up now that I'm saying it a loud, but I'm not going to lie about it."
I sighed, not exactly knowing what to say to that.
Karter sat up slightly, "I've already apologized to Chi, and moving forward I would like to build my trust up in a healthy manner."
My brows raised, surprised that she had already talked to Chicago. Maybe that's why she was just getting here to talk to me.
Knowing Chicago, she probably already moved past the entire situation, which I knew was good since we're all in a friend group together, but I also can't help but wonder if she only moved past it because it was necessary.
"Sloan, really, I am sorry and I feel terrible," Karter said, gently grabbing one of my hands from my lap.
I looked over to her, "But it's not just that, Karter."
She tilted her head slightly, "What do you mean?"
I nervously looked down at my hand, chewing on the inside of my cheek as I whispered, "It feels like you've changed."
I oddly expected Karter to get defensive even if it wasn't in her nature, or maybe even deny the accusation.
But instead, she said, "It feels like that, doesn't it?"
I felt a slight weight lift off my chest, looking over to Karter, who seemed to look confused with herself.
"I honestly don't even feel like myself anymore—It feels like there's always something to do or to compete," Karter admitted, furrowing her brows.
I frowned, squeezing her hand gently, "I'm sorry that you feel that way... I hope you know that I'm always here for you?"
Karter nodded, "Of course, I know you're here, Slo—I think I just got caught up in all of it."
