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"Because no one should be alone and sad on their birthday, even if they thought they wanted to be

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"Because no one should be alone and sad on their birthday, even if they thought they wanted to be."

—Sara Barnard


Day 79

She hadn't celebrated her birthday since she was thirteen and Costia thought the idea of skipping over such a joyous day was unfathomable. Nine years of ignoring it was easy when she was alone, because even after she met Lincoln at fifteen, he never found out where her nameday landed in the year. November thirtieth would've gone by like any other if not for Oran's presence at Arkadia, because as the day neared it seemed everyone Astoria knew was aware of her birthday.

Abby knew for medical reasons, and during their checkup on November twenty-sixth she tried to coax the girl into telling her friends. Astoria made it very clear she didn't want to celebrate, and the topic was quickly dropped. 

The following day, when her and Raven were in their shared room, the mechanic had slyly mentioned that Oran told someone, who told someone, who told Sinclair, who told her, that Astoria's birthday was some time that week. The grounder had rolled her eyes, and quickly changed the subject.

Then, on the twenty-eighth, Miller called her over in the yard and asked her what she was doing on the thirtieth. Astoria had titled her head in warning, but the boy was already giving ideas about how a small group of them should steal some alcohol and have a party at the dropship. She shook her head and said she just wanted to be alone, and then quickly interrogated him on where he heard the information. He said it was Monroe, but that Harper and Monty had also mentioned it in passing. That was when Astoria realised that most of the delinquents knew.

It was Kane that gave her a present, and Astoria was rigid and awkward as he forced it into her hands. She hadn't gotten a gift since she was nine, and wasn't sure if she should refuse it, or if that would be even ruder than taking it without anything to give in return. It was wrapped in cloth, and when Astoria opened it she gave the smallest smile. It was a heavy, weathered book with a plain black cover and white words. "Bellamy mentioned your fascination with the stars," Kane had said as she read over the title.

Astronomy Without a Telescope: A Guide to the Constellations, and Introduction to the Study of the Heavens With the Unassisted Sight. As the weeks passed, and her illness started to become more unbearable, Astoria must've read the book cover to cover at least six times. She didn't think Kane could've understood how much it meant to her, and she hugged it close to her chest as she thanked him.

"How old are you turning?" he asked, not completely sure when her birthday was. Everyone seemed to have a different answer, and he knew if wanted the correct one he'd have to go to her brother. It was the twenty-ninth when he gave her the present, but Astoria didn't mind getting it a day early.

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