I've dreamed of the perfect marriage ever since I was a little girl: a marriage complete with a hardworking husband while I tended to the home and our children, preferably four little rugrats to call my own. I dreamed of a life filled with laughter...
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Abigail Susan Coleson, the blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl who'd played a starring role for most of my life. Only, I'd known her as Abigail Susan Thompson.
My first memory of Abigail is of her cowering behind her mother's dress as they stepped into our home for the first time. We were both four years old.
"Abigail is a sweet girl, Daniel. She hasn't been here before and deserves to feel welcomed."
"Daniel, as the boy, it's your job to protect her and make her feel comfortable."
"Don't disappoint us, Daniel. The Thompsons are good friends of ours and you will do everything to be Abigail's friend."
Abigail had wide, terrified eyes pointed directly at me that day. I remember not wanting her to be afraid of me; it didn't make me feel good, so with a few hesitant steps, I offered her my hand and said, "I'm Daniel. Want to see my fort?" My fort was nothing more than a few large blankets and a fitted sheet, unstrategically wrapped around four chairs in my playroom, but I thought it was the coolest thing ever at the time.
I didn't like how she curled in more tightly to her mother after I spoke, and I was certain she would refuse because she was scared of me. Surprisingly, she nodded before stepping away from her mother and taking her first step toward me. I remember as she and I walked away to check out my fort, I looked back to find our mothers huddled together in whispers and wide smiles. My mother's eyes had caught mine before we left the room and she mouthed the words, "Good boy."
Abigail tucked herself right into my side then, a place she would firmly remain for fourteen years. Four of those years, we were so much more than just friends . . .
. . . our parents ensured it, as they ensured most things in our lives.
"Daniel, life is a game of chess, and most people are pawns, movable and disposable. But, as a king, your queen is your greatest asset."
By the time Abigail and I were in high school, we'd realized we were nothing but pawns in our parents' twisted games of power and control, and they were willing to move and dispose of us as it suited them.
"I hate them, Daniel. I hate our parents so much. They never let us do anything without their approval."
"Ugh, Daniel, I want nothing more than for us to start our lives together."
"I hate being under our parent's thumbs, Daniel. I want us to explore the world together and build our own life, a life where not every second of every day is dictated by our parents just like we planned."
And that was what I'd done, thinking Abigail would come with me . . .
. . . But, then she didn't.
I honestly didn't blame her. Leaving a life of comfort and safety for something unknown with zero guarantee, well, it's terrifying to the point it could paralyze you if you think about it too long. So, I didn't think; I kept my eyes forward, working two jobs, sometimes three, as I tried to build my business, and it was not easy. There were many months I didn't know if I'd be able to pay my rent.
