I've dreamed of the perfect marriage ever since I was a little girl: a marriage complete with a hardworking husband while I tended to the home and our children, preferably four little rugrats to call my own. I dreamed of a life filled with laughter...
I'm sitting by the creek with my forehead pressed into my knees as my mother's words flood my mind, overthrowing every rational thought. Turns out the dam I'd built over all these months was only held together by a few flimsy pieces of tape, and they've been violently ripped off and that dam is imploding on itself rapidly.
"Your husband is always right, Charlotte. Always apologize for your disobedience. Your marriage will work out better that way."
"Your value is wrapped up in your husband, Charlotte. That's why it's so important you choose a man of high power and status. With a husband like that, you can own the world."
"Men don't leave valuable women, Charlotte."
The tears won't stop falling. Everything in me is telling me to stand up and go back to Daniel--to stop him from leaving.
But, I can't.
"Did you honestly believe Daniel would choose you, a quiet little mouse over a woman like me? He's loved me since we were children. We've had each other's backs since we were children. It was always meant to be me by his side. You were always just a placeholder." Abigail's words intertwine so perfectly with my mother's words, weaving together into a rope of vicious words designed to choke me.
My whole life I've never been a priority. Not to society. Not to my parents. Not to my husband . . .
. . . Not to myself.
The gravity of that realization is making it hard to breathe.
For years I've stood by Daniel's side, watching him with Abigail, yearning for him to look at me the way he looked at her. Over those years, I couldn't help but compare myself to her, always seeing where she shined and I dimmed. She's blonde to my brunette. She has vibrant blue eyes to my dull brown eyes. Everything she is, I'm the opposite of. All these years, although it broke my heart, watching Daniel with her made sense--they made sense as a high society power couple. Whereas he and I don't make sense. Daniel is powerful and admired. An entire room will quiet with his entrance with every man wanting to do business with him and every woman wanting to get their fill on how handsome he is. No one ever saw me.
Pathetic. I've always been so pathetic.
A sob breaks from my chest. It hurts and I want it to stop, but the pain won't stop.
A shuffling noise grabs my attention, and I force myself to hold back my cries as I peek over my shoulder, finding Huck walking toward me.
Shoot. I quickly wipe the tears from my cheeks, fighting to keep any more from falling. I don't want Huck to see me like this, like the broken mess of a girl I've always been.
"Howdy, Lottie Girl," he says, taking a seat beside me. "Mind if I have a seat?"
"I'm not much company, Huck," I say softly, hoping he gets the point and leaves.
