Second No More, a novel

Inspiration/Dedication

Trigger Warning: brief mention of self-destructive behavior

I have a degree in English Creative Writing and also received an extended studies certificate in Creative Writing post-college. My teachers and peers have always encouraged me, but I struggle with putting myself out there. I'm pretty introverted and I hate dealing with negativity and real-life drama. Book drama...give it to me! Real drama...I run away screaming!

No. Thank. You!

Anyway, I have many short stories and one novel (desperately in need of editing) written, which I wrote during a two-month-long novel writing course. I've started many, MANY novels, dating back to the early 2000s, but I always seem to get stuck halfway through.

I started on WP to force myself out of my box and finish something because my dream has always been to write.

From the beginning, I intended to share what inspired this story. I hinted at this in the comments early on. In this story, I was attempting to flesh out a psychological theory with these characters. Now that the story is complete, I can finally share what got me writing this story in the first place.

On June 15, 2023, about a half hour before 4:14 PM, inspiration struck in the form of an interview discussing a certain psychological theory.

This is where the trigger warning comes in.

The interviewer was talking about how men and women self-destruct oppositely. Men tend to self-destruct externally and women tend to self-destruct internally. Because men tend to self-destruct externally, violence and hurting others, they're often viewed by society as "monsters". Because women tend to self-destruct internally, their self-destructive behaviors are often ignored until it's too late.

I immediately thought this would make an incredible marriage-in-trouble story. Why? I have no idea, but I loved it and wanted to flesh it out. Marriage-in-trouble stories are my absolute favorite. Plus, for quite some time, I had been playing with the idea of writing a romance where the female character comes second to another woman. I know a lot of people had issues with Lottie coming second...but that was the goal of the story from day one. The angst in those kinds of stories is my jam!

So after the interview, I hopped onto the writing program and I opened a manuscript. I titled it: "tbd SECOND BEST". I decided the male character and female character would be in an arranged marriage that they had been in for four years, then the betrayal would hit. I wanted to couple to sit in the ache of their similar childhood trauma for a while into their marriage before leaning toward one another, so I thought that having an arranged marriage would work as the perfect barrier to do just this. I also started plotting out the details of the story and how I was going to flesh out the external versus internal behaviors of the characters. I spent the next month doing so.

On August 10, I was ready to start writing.

It was important to show that their traumatic backgrounds manifested self-destructive behaviors and that these behaviors manifested in opposites. There are several examples in this story, but one of the bigger ones is:

Both partners bring someone into the marriage who doesn't belong: the husband externally has an emotional affair with OW and the wife internally brings her mother in with her constant toxic fumes of opinions.

*Fun fact: Lottie's mother, Helena, was inspired by some very toxic men in the manosphere. I lived in a constant state of rage while researching this character. You are welcome to look into it, but I highly suggest you don't because it will make you FURIOUS! Anyway, they provided endless material for Lottie's mother's verbal diarrhea.

*Another fun fact: Lottie's character is based on my grandmother. She didn't have such a great life, but she exhibited a kind of strength most of us could never fathom.

I also wanted to keep the theme of opposites running throughout the story in different ways and not just external versus internal. You can see this in minor ways, like Charlotte vs. Lottie, to bigger ways, like their trauma peaking at opposite ends of the book. We also have a high society filled with nasty-saurs vs. a ranch filled with loving people. My original plan, inspired by the church I go to, was to have a horse ranch for special needs kids. However, this quickly shifted once I was introduced to Huck and Lucy at their home. In the state fair chapter, you can see my original plan...then in the chapter where Lottie arrives at the ranch, things change and all the animals are revealed. I plan on editing this on my end eventually. At the end of the day, Huck and Lucy weren't horse-only people; they were all-the-animal-and-all-the-people kind of people. Thus, all the animal"sley"s (Pugsley, Pigsley, etc.) were born.

There are many examples of opposites in my story, and they were all quite intentional.

It was also important that as the male character and female character went on their healing journey, I, as the author, did not treat them as society would. So, I made it a point not to treat the hero like a monster over his self-destruction and not to ignore the heroine over her self-destruction. Oof, the comments I got during this stage! Yikes. Although expected, still not easy to read when you're trying to flesh out an idea. Poor Daniel and Lucy! It's why I took time away from writing. The comments were pulling me away from my original goal of this story and I needed to distance myself for a short bit to get back on track and stay focused. I spent the time deep-cleaning, de-cluttering, and spending time with God, my family, and friends. It was the break I needed. AND I FINISHED THE BOOK with renewed energy! Woot!

It isn't perfect and I need to fine-tune it, but I find joy in what I've written so far and look forward to bringing this story to completion eventually.

Now to give thanks because showing gratitude is a blessing.

I thank God Almighty for pulling me through this and guiding me, especially when things got rough and some people weren't so kind.

I thank my family for listening to my ideas constantly and reading and re-reading...and re-reading...and re-reading this story.

Also, thank you, readers, for being with me on this journey of publishing my first book. Your support has been incredible! Your kind words, constructive criticism, and input have been so encouraging. You will never know how grateful I am that you've taken the time to read this story.

I'm taking a week off from writing to enjoy my family, then I will start back up on Wife Forgotten. Expect the next chapter of WF during the first week of May. Thank you for your patience on that one!

Wishing you all the best!

AMDS/Imaginationgirl35