I've dreamed of the perfect marriage ever since I was a little girl: a marriage complete with a hardworking husband while I tended to the home and our children, preferably four little rugrats to call my own. I dreamed of a life filled with laughter...
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Lottie walks beside me, her hand tightly held in mine as we head towards the main cabin. I could get used to her touch. I could have had years of this if I hadn't been so stupidly blind.
Fool.
My jaw clenches as the years of our marriage replay like it's been doing since that disastrous night when Lottie saw me with Abigail. Guilt stabs my chest, razor-sharp and damning. I've hurt her when she didn't ask for it and it was all for what? Honestly, I don't even know at this point. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping a distance between us. I thought Lottie was just like any other high-society brat born with a silver spoon in her mouth. I thought a lot of things . . .
. . . And, maybe, I shouldn't have.
Lottie's hand gives me a little squeeze and takes me out of my thoughts. I look at her and find she's staring at me with bright, vulnerable eyes. A gentle glow bounces off her as the sun sets behind her. She's breathtaking. It takes me back to the first time I saw her. Only, she no longer looks like a caged bird.
Now, she looks like freedom.
"You look like you have a lot on your mind," she says, looking at me with genuine curiosity.
I do. Years worth. But, I keep that thought to myself. Oh, how different our lives would be if I'd made different choices then.
"I'm anticipating your reaction to our date," I say instead, hoping she doesn't pick up on my internal disappointment.
"Hmmm. Well, with all your brainstorming with Pigsley, my expectations are set exceptionally high, Daniel," she jokes.
As they should be. As they always should have been.
I return her squeeze, enjoying the way her skin feels against mine. For our entire marriage, intimacy outside of the bedroom wasn't something we did. I honestly cannot think of the last time I just held Lottie's hand, held her close, or kissed her just because I wanted to. I always kept her at arms-length, keeping us stuck in our messed-up status quo. It makes me feel like scum. If I get another chance at this with her, this will change. Not only will this woman have to get used to my hands all over her, but she'll have to get used to me wanting to know everything about her.
I'm still in shock by the drawings in her cabin. They aren't just doodles as she so vehemently wants me to believe. They are full-blown business plans, good ones at that. I know business, and her ideas could take off with the right foundation and networking. But, pushing her right now isn't the way to go about this, not when we have so much we still need to work out. So, tonight is not the time we talk about business. Tonight, I start showing her what's possible for us.
The empty cabin is up ahead. As requested, the lights have been left on. I bribed Huck to take Lucy, Penny, and Beau into the city for a big fancy dinner on me so Lottie and I could have the giant kitchen to ourselves. My eyes scan over the cabin. I have to admit that Huck and Lucy did an incredible job building this place. Something about this place feels welcoming and right.
