ᴡɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇ •ꜰ.ᴏᴅᴀɪʀ•

ʀᴇɢʀᴇᴛꜱ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇᴄᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴏʟᴅ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ

"Happy birthday baby!" my mom comes bursting through the door to my room, I didn't even raise my head at her voice, I just kept it buried in the soft pillow. all the lights were on in my room, like always, I don't think I have turned them off since my first night in this house. I am supposed to feel happy today, the day of my sixteenth birthday. I'm supposed to spend today with my family, instead, I am being escorted back to the capitol for 'business' as Concordia told me over the phone yesterday, I don't know what is so urgent they couldn't have waited another day, or the victory tour in five months. besides what business do I have exactly? dread looms over me, I will be back in the spotlight, even though my name has been on the tip of everyone's tongue in the capitol. I have been in the comfort of district nine distanced from the attention on me as much as I could until winter when I would have every person in Panem's eyes following me.

I finally raise my head to see my mother has disappeared and a plate of pancakes is left on my nightstand. dragging myself out of bed, I look out the window to see the sun is fully up meaning I have been in bed all morning and that it won't be long until I'm on the train heading for the capitol again. making my way downstairs, I saw Stiles was missing from his usual spot on the couch, meaning he was out in the woods. stiles seemed to have matured while I was away, leaving his sketchpad untouched since I left as he learned to hunt. I helped him as much as I could, until the sound of a branch snapping caused me to go into some type of hysterical fit after that he went off on his own not wanting me to freak out again. I told him I was fine, that it was just a quick episode because I didn't sleep the night before, he reluctantly believed me but I still have yet to go back out there, scared of what it will remind me of. my mother, on the other hand, has stayed the same. always keeping her hands busy with chores around the house, she says it helps her keep calm. besides with all this extra space and money, she hadn't spent a single moment sitting still. She was in the kitchen, humming gently as she washed the dishes. once I was about to speak up, thanking her for the pancakes even though I didn't even attempt to touch them, the door swung open and Stiles came strolling in holding a rabbit by its foot. even though we were never without food, he felt the need to bring it home and make use of it. he would tell us that it just felt wrong to not make use of the sacrifice, so then my mom would whip up a rabbit soup and send some to Fitz since he seemed to never have a proper meal.

the rare times I leave my house is to go to Fitz', we don't even talk most of the time, we usually exchange ways we like to pass the time when we can't sleep. he usually drinks and hopes he passes out, or he reads a book that he steals from my fathers study. after my games, Fitz explained how close he and my dad were, if it weren't for him talking to my mother at dinner as if they were old friends I wouldn't believe it. he told me that he and my father were close growing up, brothers. After Fitz won his games, he would bring books home that came from the capitol library or were given as gifts. he wasn't supposed to give them to anyone but he would sneak my father the books so he could read them. The reason Stiles and I had never known Fitz other than him being the only Victor was because he wanted to keep his distance once my parents got married, he knew anyone around him wasn't safe now that he was in the eye of the capital. when he told me that I wanted to throw up realizing that the same pressure he was under, I was now too.

"why didn't you wake me up?" I quietly ask my brother who is now in the kitchen with my mom. he raises his head from prepping the rabbit to be cooked, and the image of Sloan plucking the feathers of the bird flashes through my mind as I zone out on his actions. he mumbles something that I couldn't make out because of the flashing image of Sloan repeating itself. I sit there just staring at Stiles trying to choke down tears that are rising again, the last thing I need is to cry around them again. they are already looking at me like I am so fragile I could break at any inconvenience. "I'm sorry, what?"