Mr. Smith

51: Matter of Time

As soon as Ian left, I rushed to my room, balled up into a fetal position on my bed, and started crying my eyes out. 

I don't know how I'm going to make this right.  I'm too scared to even talk to Adam and Ian just broke things off with me when it was supposed to be the other way around.  How could I let things get this far?  None of them deserved what I did to them.  Especially Ian.  Ian was always so easy.  He was sweet, caring, he didn't have a side girlfriend, and he doesn't yell at me.  He was a catch. 

However, Adam on the other hand is the complete and total opposite of Ian.  He is cold when he wants to be, he had a side girlfriend, and he's a difficult man.  But when he's sweet, it's the best feeling in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

I lift up my wrist and look at the charm bracelet he got me for my birthday.  It's so beautiful and special to me that I don't think that I'll be able to take it off. 

"Elizabeth?"  I heard Carly's voice on the other side of the door say. 

I wipe my tears away as I sit up on the bed.  "Yeah?"  I croak. 

"Are you okay?  Can I come in?"  She asks. 

I nod my head, "Yeah." 

She opens the door and walks in, wearing a sympathetic look on her face.  She strides over to my bed and sits down on the edge, facing me. 

"How are you feeling?"  She softly asks. 

I let my eyes fart everywhere in the room as I shrug.  "Horrible.  You saw what happened." 

"If it helps, I'm very proud of you."  She says, ducking her head to try to meet my eyes. 

I snort as I wipe my arm across my nose.  "Yeah sure." 

"No, I'm being serious.   It took guts to tell them both in front of their faces."  She explains.  

I let my eyes wander over to her as I shrug.  "I guess.  But you don't understand the pain I'm in right now." 

"You're right.  I don't.  But I can only imagine."  She comments. 

"I lost both of them in a matter of ten minutes.  But I was going to breakup with Ian when I got home and-"

"Wait, what?  You were gonna break up with him?"  Carly interjects. 

I nod my head.  "Yes.  I honestly couldn't really see myself with him in the long run." 

"Oh.  So you choose Adam?" 

"Yes, but with the way things went down, I don't think he feels the same for me anymore."  I admit. 

"Well have you apologized to him?"  She asks, knitting her brows. 

"No.  But knowing him, I don't think he'll be accepting any apologies from me anytime soon."  I answer. 

"You should still try.  I mean he does deserve one.  And you never know, maybe he will accept it."  She advises. 

I shrug.  "He probably doesn't even want to see me though." 

"So?  It's the right thing to do.  If you want to fix things between you and him, you need to apologize.  Whether he accepts it or not, you just need to." 

I nod my head.  "Okay.  Should I do it over text?" 

Carly gives me a look like I've lost my mind.  "Of course not.  You never do those kind of things over text.  You have to do it in person so they know how sincere you are."