Spin The Bottle

15: Keep Your Friends Close

I walked into school with posters hanging from every wall. Prom. The social event that everyone waits their whole high school year for. This year was almost over and in two weeks it was the prom. On any other occasion, I'd be jumping for joy. But instead, I'm still stressing over Noah.

It's been three weeks since I've spoken to Noah, Jake, or Ashlyn. Not that we spoke much before. And quite frankly, I could care less whether she scores him or not. Three weeks. That's all it took to change my life forever. 

I'm nothing like I used to be, sweet, innocent, clueless. No. Now I'm bitter, moody, and sarcastic. For the first two weeks Noah either couldn't, or wouldn't. Talk to me. Then after that he tried. But by then it was too late. I had already fell out.

He tried to tell me that he didn't mean it, that he was just upset, but it didn't matter. Because over those three weeks I had cried, got really depressed, and gotten over it.

My mind closed back around that day. The words that we said, the things we felt, the tension that was so thick in the air it almost suffocated me.

"Emma. Why won't you talk to me? Can't you see that I'm sorry?!" I shook my head folded my arms.

"But that's just it. I do see."

"So then why won't you talk to me?" His eyes pleaded, begged even.

"Because, Noah!" I yelled at him and he looked so wounded I almost wish I hadn't. "Listen," I breathed in and out focusing long and hard on what I needed to say, making sure it came out perfectly, and unscratched. Because I knew, once it was said it couldn't be taken back.

"Do you remember when we were best friends? When we'd share our every thought? Every smile? And every laugh? And do you remember when you broke my heart? Because I seem to remember that more than anything. I trusted you, you were supposed to be my friend, you said you'd always protect me, you lied to me." By then my vision was beginning to blur and I could see his eyes sparkle with tears.

"I - I'm sorry. I just... I was so frustrated and..." I shook my head and then a salty tear rolled down my face.

"I loved you Noah. I waited for you. I thought we'd be together forever. But thoughts... they change, and times change, and people change, and I changed, and your apologies are some that I'm not sure if I'm going to accept this time..."

I had asked myself, over and over. If I was dying... Would he even come to say goodbye? Then that day when we talked. I looked into those sad blue eyes that I had come to love so much. The eyes that not too long ago, I was crazy about.

The sincerity in his voice, the pleading. All the times I forgave him. He broke me. But as I walked away from him that day, I realized, that the answer to my previous question... Was no.

Friends are supposed to help you through the rough times, Not put you through them. And I know for some people, this may not be a big deal, but if there is a worse pain than losing your best friend, I sure as hell don't know it.

I stared at the poster in front of me in complete, and utter disgust. I shook my head and then ripped it off the wall, balling it up in my first, and throwing it in the trash.

"Why the sudden hate for prom?" Hazel appeared next to me and I opened my locker.

"It's stupid. People spend their time, money, and a perfectly insane amount of braincells on this one, abrasive, event, that I never even understood the soul purpose for." She blinked a few times and I slammed my locker shut.

"So I guess asking you to go dress shopping with me on Tuesday would be completely out of the question?" I licked my lips and then sighed.

"Yeah, I'll go. But don't expect me to buy anything." She shrugged and then we started walking to our first class together.