Faded Memories

Chapter 23

It looked so peaceful outside, so quiet. The rain had stopped pouring now, the smell of wet concrete filling the air instead, as the cloud overhead hung low ready for the next downpour. Sections of the garden still appeared to be raining, but it was simply the dripping of water from tree leaves onto the grass below. It was perfect, it was beautiful.

I took a deep breath, turning around to face Carter who was sitting on the edge of his bed now, looking at me through tired eyes. I had put his dad and him through quite a lot tonight, and yet I still provided no explanation. I was dressed in some of Carter's clothes, very oversized on my body, but my clothes were still soaking from running in the rain. What a stupid idea. What a stupid life I lived.

"Amelia..." Carter trailed off, before placing his head in his hands. He didn't deserve any of this, especially all of the secrets that I have been keeping. I knew that he didn't want to force me to talk, but I also knew that he deserved an explanation from me. About everything, not just tonight.

"No, Carter, I know that I need to explain." I wandered over to the edge of his bed, sitting next to him as I crossed my legs underneath me. We were both facing the window now, the ocean hidden underneath the dark clouds that were looming overhead. Only the lamp was on in the room, so outside was almost clear to be able to see out of. It would provide the perfect distraction for while I spoke.

"You fainted, Amelia. Completely blacked out for a few minutes, heck, I thought we were going to have to call an ambulance," He shook his head, looking at me as he turned around. "After months of whatever we were doing, and then you just up and left last Sunday with no explanation at all. I don't speak to you for a week... and all of a sudden you turn up to my house, soaking from the rain, demanding to speak to my dad? I'm just confused, Amelia." He sighed now, turning his attention to the window again. "It's like you've got a life that you've never shared with me. I thought you could talk to me, I thought you could trust me."

My heart sank. I was so used to being on my own, to only having to care about my own emotions and my own health that I've never even stopped to think about what it was doing to the people around me. I had never told this story out loud, and to be honest, I'd never really thought about it all as a whole before. I have moments of bliss return to me occasionally in my memories, and also the most horrific moments... but I've never pieced them together to see what my life truly was like before.

"I hope you've got your popcorn ready, it's a long story," I smirked to myself, fiddling with my fingers in my lap. Where do I even start? I guess the only place I can start is the beginning, or what felt like the beginning.

"My family, back when it was the 5 of us, we had a film day every single Sunday. This one particular Sunday, I think I was 15, well, it was my turn to pick the movie... but that's not important I guess. Well, anyway, towards the end of the film one of Joe's friends came over. I guess that's where the story starts. Where my life only went downhill.

When I first met Ryan Hargrave.

He was the first boy who had ever given me a second glance, I guess that's what drew me towards him in the beginning. He was almost two years older, and older boys are always more interesting when you're a teenage girl in high school. I never thought he was interested in me, he would always pay attention to me and laugh at my jokes... but I guess that I just thought it was because I was Joe's sister, and he kind of had to be nice to me. But, when you look back he acted differently than Joe's other friends had ever done around me. He was always the one to initiate the conversations, he was always the one to ask if I wanted to hang out... sometimes without Joe too, which sounds a little strange now when I think about it.

A few months after I met Ryan, my mother lost all of her memories. It kind of pulled the family apart, we had never had to deal with anything like that before. We had always been a close family, but everybody began grieving in their own way when she left... and it was so... lonely. Joe didn't speak to anybody for a while, he would disappear for hours and then just go straight to his room for the night. Dad, well, he was completely focused on Jamie, who was only 5, when he wasn't crying in the toilet. Everybody kind of forgot that there was still family left, that not all of us had gone.