Faded Memories

Chapter 35

My eyes fluttered open, a musty metallic scent filling my nose as I lifted my head up, a sharp pain flying through my neck as I did so. Confusion fell onto me as I glanced around the room, realising that this was not the room I had been in the previous few days. This room was bare, empty, barren.

Feeling the need to touch the walls to find a way out, I realised that I was stuck. I trained my eyes downwards and noticed that all my limbs had been tied to the arms and legs of a metallic chair, meaning that the only sense made out of the entire situation was that I now understood where the musty smell was emerging from.

Sighing in defeat, I felt the life drain out of me as I realised all I had to do was have dinner with him last night and perhaps I wouldn't have ended up in this situation. I was too uptight to have even done that.

I don't even care about how I got here. Ryan probably poisoned me in my sleep or something ridiculous, I wasn't even surprised at this point. I just wanted to see Jamie, I needed to see Jamie. I had to do what he wanted so that he let me see my brother.

A few hours of staring at the blank walls surrounding me, I began laughing tremendously. I mean, this whole situation was the most random thing I had ever been through in my life. My ex boyfriend had kidnapped me, brought me to his old house, recreated my bedroom to make me feel more at home, cooked me an entire meal which I refused to eat so in order to get back at me then locked me in an empty room?

You couldn't write my life if you tried.

"Something amusing?" His voice brought me back into reality as I felt his presence from behind me, the hairs on my arms standing tall, meaning that the exit was obviously in the only spot I couldn't turn around to see with these restraints on.

I smirked at him, still not wanting to speak and give him the satisfaction of hearing my voice in person. If I was going to speak to him, it would be to see Jamie and only to see Jamie.

"Well," He cleared his throat, coming around me into view. "I thought that perhaps you would want something to eat, seeing as you skipped dinner last night, but if you're still not speaking..."

I stopped breathing as he waved a slice of toast in front of my face, trying to get me to cave. I didn't have to speak to show him that I was hungry, in fact my stomach was making up for most of the noise coming from this room right now. But I wasn't going to ask him to feed me, and I definitely wasn't going to beg for it.

"Have it your way, love." Ryan smirked, putting the toast back on the plate and onto the floor. He crouched in front of the chair, his hand tucking a piece of hair behind my ear as he whispered to me. "I will make you fall for me again. I don't think you ever fell out of love with me. Just you wait, sunshine."

I grinned back at him, before spitting in his face to get him to move out of my way. This man was batshit crazy, he wasn't getting anywhere near me if I had a choice in it.

"Now, now," He chuckled, wiping his face with the back of his hand. "Let's play nicely."

I trained my eyes back to the floor in front of me where he had left the toast, not daring to look at him any longer. Sometimes, just for a split second, I would completely forget everything he had done to me and my stomach would flutter slightly. Then, when I came crashing back down to reality, I would have a few seconds where I wanted to rip his head off and spend the rest of my life in prison for it.

It was exhausting.

"Well, I knew that you might not be quite ready yet for us to be together again, so I've found a way to try and remind you of our life together. Now, if you're ready at any point to try again, just say the words. I'll be right here untying you. But until then, I'm afraid this is the best place to cleanse you of the sins you've committed."

I heard the faint click of the door behind me before I was trapped in complete silence again, left alone with nothing but my own thoughts. I have no idea how long I had been left like that for, before a new sound erupted from all around me causing my hair to stand on edge.

The room fell into darkness before the wall in front of me suddenly illuminated, almost as if a projector was pointing exactly on it. All I could see was a bright light at first, before a movie of some sort began playing and filling the entire wall. It was as if the speakers were all around me, the sound from the film having no direct pinpointing location.

I was static for a second, frozen in time as I felt a wave of negative energy flow through me when I saw something familiar flash on the screen. Then my face. Then Ryan's face.

Then the dread truly hit.

I stared in awe as video after video after video played of Ryan and myself, videos that I had taken, videos that he had taken, videos that I never even knew had been taken. They played on repeat, one after another after another. Just when I thought that it was ending, a collection of photos began to play in the same style that the videos played.

Then after that, it started from the beginning again.

And again.

And again.

I was going out of my mind, as videos I had pushed away and that I never wanted to see again flooded the room. I squeezed my eyes shut, anything to get the images of a life that was an entire lie out of my head. I had to remember that he was only showing me the highlights, the parts that I thought were good but were actually a lie.

Our entire relationship he was lying to me. He tried to kill my mother. He killed my father. I had to remember the bad parts.

I had to.

He murdered my father.

He murdered my dad.

He murdered-

I looked so happy in the current video that was filling the room. It was our first holiday to Spain. Not the most exciting place in the world, but a place that we could feel at peace nonetheless. Well, the entire holiday was a disaster. The hotel flooded from extreme rain, our flight home was cancelled, the food that the hotel was meant to cook was stuck miles away from the hotel in a lorry somewhere.

We spent the entire holiday drunk, completely in bits at how funny the whole situation was. I was currently cry-laughing in the bathtub in the video after I'd fallen in while trying to find the toilet, before Ryan panned the camera around to show that the taps in our room weren't working, to then look on our balcony which had a few inches of water resting from the previous night's downpour. It was a mess.

And yet, I loved him so much on that holiday.

A tear fell down my face as I squeezed my eyes shut, desperate to force out the sudden flood of laughter that wanted to escape my body. I was meant to hate him. I had to hate him. He's ruined my life.

And yet, some of my happiest memories are with him.

I needed to remember why I was here. He's kidnapped my brother. He's kidnapped me for God's sake!

And yet, part of me just wanted to scream forgiveness and forget about everything.