Lily's Playlist

Track 5: Ain't it Fun

Ain't it Fun by Paramore

On the next weekend Sammy and I went shopping at the mall. I had no idea what I wanted to wear for my first day of work. I knew I wouldn't be doing any actual work with patients, just orientation. Thankfully, my uniform consists of a company issued polo and any bottoms except jeans, so I didn't have to shop for much, just shoes and maybe some comfortable black pants. I figured it wouldn't hurt to look for a nice outfit for my first day. First impressions, right?

"Oooo, Victoria Secret has a sale." Sammy exclaimed as we walked by the store.

"Work clothes Sammy." I reminded her as we passed it.

"Fine. Work clothes first." She replied as we went into H&M.

As always, we headed to the clearance rack first. Sammy was on a budget, and I just never was one to spend a ton of money on clothes. Before, it didn't really matter how much I spent on clothes: I felt fat in everything. I tended to stick with loose and comfortable. I still preferred comfort, but my cousin Bianca in California gave me lessons on how to dress my body better.

Sammy took this as her personal mission to pimp my wardrobe. She picked out khaki pants from the clearance rack before heading to the regular racks. I let her go crazy. Even H&M full price was better than many department stores. And I had to admit, I got caught up in her enthusiasm for shopping.

"So what's going on with you and Ethan?" Sammy asked me, holding up a red patterned, low cut, hi low maxi dress.

"Nothing.." I eyed the dress. "I have way too much boobage for that."

"Exactly! That 'nothing' would turn into something if you were wearing stuff like this around Ethan." She suggested, putting it in the pile.

"I can't even get him alone, even if I just wanted sex." I finished.

Ethan had been so busy lately. He didn't even come out with us last weekend after I invited him, knowing Megan had EJ. This weekend he had EJ, so hanging out would mean EJ too. While I adored my EJ time, I couldn't talk to Ethan about us with EJ around.

We headed to the dressing room so I could try on the items we picked out.

"Ethan is hot. I'm sure he can find time for hooking up. If he's not already..." Sammy hinted over the door dividing us.

That hurts. Even though it's not something I haven't thought about. I'm not naive enough to think he hasn't hooked up with anyone. The important thing is he isn't dating anyone. Rocky told me he hadn't brought any girls around recently and Brandon confirmed that.

I did my own investigation on Facebook. Plenty of girls showed up on his feed; friends that tagged him, female members of his parent's church asking when he was going to bring EJ to service, even some moms from EJ's school and activities liking his statuses. There was only one girl I knew of that he dated, but she was out of the picture a while ago.

"That's why I'm waiting to talk to him. I don't want it to be just sex. I want more." I said, slipping the red dress over my head, before stepping out of the dressing room

I turned away to look in the mirror. It did look good. The red and white looked amazing against my bronze skin. My legs looked long and shapely with the shorter hem in the front. My cleavage is visible, but not trashy; sexy, but not over the top.

"I love it. I can picture you wearing it as you tell all those other bitches to take a hike when you and Ethan get back together!" Sammy declared. I laughed at her craziness before trying on my next outfit.

Our trip to H&M was so successful, I didn't need to visit any other clothing stores. I ended up picking pinstripe pants and a blue linen sleeveless dress shirt for my first day of work. I went to Sketchers and got two new pairs of sneakers. At another shoe store, I found a really cute pair of nude wedges that were on sale. And I could walk in them perfectly! I blame my inability to walk in heels on my lack of mother figure. Sammy blames my lack of coordination. Whatever! On the way out, we did stop by Victoria Secret. Sammy talked me into buying as much as she did, with the allure of Ethan seeing me in them.