This Rose Bleeds

Chapter ~Twenty-Eight~

.:~* NATHAN *~:.

He walked away. The cold look in his eyes told me everything. Jonah glared, laughed, and whispered, "Freak, you heard that right? " He shoved me to my side and stood up, and left me, alone, in the halls. I sat against the lockers with my head rested back, and stared at the ceiling.

I can't do this anymore...

I could see clearly Ryder kissing that girl. He kissed her, and even as he saw me, continued. He looked so cold at me, so angry. Did he see me arrive with Mattson? He wouldn't take no for an answer. Was he mad at me? Didn't he get me back already?

Jonah's fun didn't even hurt as much as seeing Ryder with another person. A girl.

Stupid Nathan. You obviously forgot. He likes girls too. He's popular, and people love him. She was way more attractive than you, everyone is. He probably liked her better than you. She probably kissed better.

That doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. I felt myself cry inside when I saw him. He wasn't mine anymore. He wasn't my friend. He hated me. I don't have friends. I'm just an idiot. A mess up.

And this is how it should have stayed.

I stood up. I couldn't go to school today. I walked slowly, afraid of the bruises Jonah gave me. Where could I go? Not home. That would be useless. I need to work. There's only one thing to focus on now, and that was living.

It took two hours to get to downtown. Robin was out front for once, talking to the security. When he saw me, he marched right over and looked down at me over his glasses.

"What are you doing here, Nate?"

"I need to work."

"You should be in school–"

"Robin, please." I pleaded.

"We're only open at night!"

"Let me...clean the bar until tonight. Let me work today. Let me work a full shift tonight–"

"Absolutely not. You–"

"Please Robin." I said. "Please–"

He raised a hand and brushed the bruise on my cheek. I flinched away.

"Something happened." He whispered. He clenched his jaw then sighed, "Fine...But I'm against this, so I'm not giving you an all night shift."

"But–"

"The latest you can stay tonight is twelve." He said firmly. "No objections. Someone needs to give you limits as to how much you can exhaust yourself."

I bit my lip and nodded. He let me into the bar and patted my shoulder. "Why do you look more hopeless than usual?"

I went behind the counter and began grabbing glasses to wash.

"Nathan?"

"It's nothing." I whispered.

"Sure it is." He said. He was in that mature mood he uses when he's serious. No games in his voice. "Nathan?"

I put down a glass. "I..." I thought back to that moment I met his eye. The image of him with that girl burned into my brain. "I just want this to be over."

"Your business with Steve?"

"Yeah..." I whispered. I want everything to be over. It may be a little selfish. People have it worse... people must be suffering worse than me right now. Right? But I'm almost done. Sooner or later, nothing will make sense anymore.