"You look just like the boy I saw in my dreams." Jisung jabbed a finger at the blonde's chest.
He certainly wasn't expecting the other to grab his hand, wrapping his fingers on top of Jisung's.
"Dreams?" A small smirk edged the corners of his mouth...
Jisung couldn't help the cry that slipped from his lips. "Minho."
He was a part of him; he was here with Jisung.
The boy, sensing that Jisung was becoming emotional, took a step back. "I'll pour you some Queen Mary, your favorite." He said this, peeking his head out the door. "I'll be back."
Jisung didn't say anything, solely focusing on the journal in his possession. Eyes enlarged and glossy, his fingers twitched as he flipped through the pages, which were morphing yellow from old age.
Then he began reading, his eyes tracing over every etch of ink on the paper. It was Minho's handwriting, elegant yet rushed.
Last night I went for a row in my pajamas
The marsh and the moon were very charming at night.
Minho's fingers flexed against the oars, splinters digging into his skin. The air was cool, the moon casting a gentle white glow over the rushing waters.
I shall do it again.
Jisung turned the page.
June eighth:
A party!
Minho bit back a smile as he entered the ballroom, the guests filling the echoing silence with applause for him. Ladies came up to him, complimenting his attire and claiming that it hugged him in all the right places. It felt good to be noticed and wanted.
Father, mother, and many of their friends came
It was such fun!
He accepted the flowers that were handed to him, his cheeks stained with hues of pink and red, marks from the kisses he'd received from the women flirting with him.
I went outside from the sunroom
Jisung stared blankly at the page, a sinking feeling in his chest.
and danced with a flower boy.
Minho spun the flower boy round and round, admiring the way his eyes cheeks puffed out when he was embarrassed, the way his fingers held shakily in his grip.
but...
nan locked me in my room because of last night
Jisung scowled. Of course, Nan would do such a thing.
so there won't be any midnight rows for a bit
Was that why he hadn't seen Minho this past week? Had he really been locked away, unable to communicate with anyone outside this prison of a mansion? If that was the case, then why wasn't Minho here anymore? Had he simply vanished off the face of the earth without so much as a goodbye? Did their kiss mean nothing to him?
Jisung was confused and unsettled, not sure what to make of this newfound discovery.
I guess I have to keep reading.
He turned to the next page but was surprised to find it empty. He flipped the page back and forth, as if the words would magically appear, but no, the next page was blank. And so was the next one, and the next, and the entire rest of the diary. It was all empty.
The door creaked open again, and a foot stuck out, followed by a leg and eventually the rest of the boy who now lived in Minho's house. In his arms, he carried a wooden tray, which strangely resembled the one Nan carried. On it were two tall glasses of Queen Mary, the ice rocking against the glass.
Jisung wasn't going to question how the boy got ahold of the liquor, not to mention the fact that it was Minho's favorite drink. He decided he wouldn't drink it, considering what had happened the last time he'd drunk alcohol.
"See," the boy said, shutting the door with his foot. "It's you, isn't it?"
Jisung shook his head. "No." This was the umpteenth time he'd denied being Minho, but the boy simply refused to listen. Jisung didn't like being referred to as Minho; it made him feel strange, a sensation he couldn't quite distinguish.
"Minho is..." Jisung let out a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes shut. He could feel the boy's eyes trained on him, waiting for him to continue. "Someone I made up."
He couldn't process the words coming out of his mouth; he just let them fall. Tears clung to his cheeks as he furiously wiped away at them.
Why am I crying? You've done this to yourself, Jisung.
"An imaginary boy, only in my mind."
He didn't feel it when the other wrapped him in a tight hug, consoling him as he began to cry.
You're a fool, Jisung. You've gone insane.
The two stayed there for a while, sitting on the edge of the mattress, not speaking at all.
End of Chapter 21 ◂⊱✧⊰▸
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TBC c:
authors note 2/25/24: if you couldn't already tell, said boy is kim sengmin!!
