Decisions of our lives

Chapter 30

Aarohi--

I woke up at the evening with the terrible headache. I slowly sat on the bed it's all dark outside. As i saw the digital clock it showing seven twenty in the Evening.

I walk towards the light switch and turned on the lights. Today all maids are on holiday except the nanny. I walk out of my room to see if Agastya return yet or not but there is no sign of him. But everything is still as cold as it was when he left the home.

I felt suffocated, pain, hurt, emotionally break. I can't even call tanmay he's out of country for some business work. And Armaan brother is also out of city because he get some business as well, uncle Roy was probably busy in the death anniversary rituals so I don't want them to know my inner turmoil.

I wanted to cry, i wanted to scream, i wanted to laugh like before without any hurt and pain inside my heart, but.... But that one decision of my life took away all this from me.

Decision of marrying Agastya. What he thinks only he and his family lost someone? What he thinks that only his beloved Singhania family is lost their someone loved? What about me? A four year old kid, who lost her mother, but not only mother... her brother, father, grandparents and everything that called family? Where I forced to live like a orphanage. If not uncle Roy help my mumma and papa (singh family) to adopt me then maybe I'm in some orphanage living my life like a orphan who have every relation in her life but still titled as a orphan.

Why he thinks only he was the one who feel hurt, pain and was in sorrow? Why not anyone saw me? My pain? My hurt? My sorrow? Why? Why???

I was thinking all this sitting on the balcony present in his penthouse while looking at the moon. Silent tears were found their way to fall.

My train of self questions stop when I heard the nanny's voice.

"Aarohi dear, why are you sitting here alone? Did you want anything? Should I bring you fruits or something? Dinner is ready in mere twenty minutes do you want anything till then?" She boomed me with questions.

She's old and very polite to me.

"Umm, no aunty. I'm fine don't bothered yourself Ok? I don't need anything. You can rest." I said and wipe my tears before she saw them.

"But dear you didn't eat anything since morning, when I come to your room at the lunch time, you were in a deep sleep, and now also you are saying you don't want to eat anything?" She said and continue.

"Aarohi dear, you're pregnant and if you don't want to eat then it doesn't meant the little life inside you is also not wanted to eat anything. Eat something for your baby and then you can do whatever you want to do." She said caressing my hairs lovingly.

I nodded my head and went inside with her. She cook food for me and served me.

I ate it in the silence. The food is so tasty but my crying heart is not let me enjoy the food. I just stuff the food inside my mouth and swallow Down with the help of water.

Practically i force myself to eat.

After Dinner i was going back in my room, but one question stop me on tracks.

"Aunty did Agastya come in afternoon?" I asked to her.

"No dear, he's not come yet since the morning he left." She said with a sad smile.

She knows about me and Agastya. She's his nanny in his childhood. She saw me and him as a kid as well.

Sometimes I wanted to know about my and his childhood stories from her but stop myself to do so.

As i reached inside my bedroom, I saw a Wooden box lying on my bed.

I walked closer and sat on the bed crossing my legs in Indian style. And slowly open the box.

The wooden box is so beautiful with self cutting design on it.

I open the box and their was three more box inside it.

I pick the first one. It's a beautiful band, with a note.

'This is for you my little fella, when i was born my mother give this to me as a symbol of mother's love for her daughter. And when you born i keep this for you, so this is a gift for you as a symbol of mother's love. This is the legacy which start from my mother to me and from me to you. And if in future you have a daughter then you pass it to her.
With love Mumma!'

I read the note again and again and tears found their way to fall.

I took out the ring and wear it on my heart finger. It adoring my hand more and it so beautiful platinum band with small daimond in between. Simple yet beautiful.

I kiss the ring uncountable times, i feel like my mom is near me. I can feel her through this ring.

Then after sometime I pick out the second box. It is an rectangular shape.

I open it carefully, and it holds a beautiful platinum chain and pendant. A pendent of beautiful little angel. With a note inside.

I took out the note.

'Hey my little fella! Today was your first birthday, so your dad and i went for the shopping. And I found this set.... I just felt like buying this for you. Your dad even said that you're so small to wear it and all...so I told him that I give it to you when you're old enough. But i buy this because this is what you're to me, to us...our little angel. Happy birthday my princess.
With love Mumma!'

I read the same note again and again. Tears not stopping since the very start.

I bring out the set and wear it around my neck. I so beautiful and perfect. But it's really for me? I mean she said I was an angel for her, but i become the reason of her death. How can I be an angel? How??

I cried, and cried I don't have any energy left to cry more. I felt exhausted. So i kept the remaining last box aside. And saw the time it was eleven in the night. I don't feel anything other then crying even when my all tears dry till now.

I don't care it Agastya come yet or not. I don't want to face him. I don't want anything from anyone. I just wanted to leave all this and live peacefully. I just wanted to hold my child and forward my mumma's symbol of love to my daughter, if i have one. I just want a complete family. Maybe I accept Agastya too. For my child, but that even happen? Even in my dreams?