The lonely wolf [bxb]

Forgiving him

(Elias)

After spending some time with Raina, Lilliana and Samuel, I met with Brendan and Bryan who wanted to show me around the pack land. Saying there were some other things they wanted me to see. It was fun while it lasted, I've never felt so free before. But knowing what was waiting for me, had me worried it will all be over soon.

I had Raina teleported me back to my room because I had to talk to Ryker about something important.

It was best not to delay it any further because I wanted to be able to spend the rest of my life free of any guilt I've been harboring ever since I got kicked out of my pack by my parents.

I decided to take a shower and change into something clean, since I've been doing a lot of stuff back at the shadow stone pack, which somehow had become my safe haven. Those were the people who really cared about me, they weren't fake, and that's what I liked about them.

But, something was missing. Knowing that I was a warlock without power made me feel like apart from me was gone. I needed to find a way of getting my powers back, even if it meant going back to the one place I really didn't want to go.

“Elias, thank the goddess you're back.” Ryker said before enveloping me in a hug. I was surprised at first because the way he was acting lately, was new to me. I didn't know how to react when he was gets like this. Knowing that he didn't want to have anything to do with me in the beginning.

Even though that's not what I'm here for, I still can't stop myself from remembering what I've been through before, so even when he claims to have changed, I still have to thread carefully around him. No one really changes that quickly.

'I live here, don't I?' I asked, and he nodded his head before pulling away. His eyes were trailing my body, as if trying to find something improper, like a scar or a bruise, but I was ok, so he could stop looking at me like that.

'I wanted to talk to you about something.' I made my way towards the bed and sat down, patting the space next to me, so he could do the same.

“Does it have anything to do with us?” He asked with a worried look on his face. I didn't bother replying to him as I started to talk. It's best to get this completed.

'Over the years, I felt alone. I didn't have anyone to turn to after what my parents did to me. I was weak, pathetic. Goddess knows I wanted to die as well, but not anymore. I went through hell and back, and the only one I have to thank for always being there for me is Forest. He's my lifesaver, without him, I wouldn't be here today to tell you this.' I sighed, running my hand through my red hair that was growing far too long. A reminder that I needed a haircut soon. Ryker remained quiet as I continued to talk.

'I didn't purposefully come on your land that day when you wanted to kill me. Forest was hunting, he got hungry and wanted a dry place to rest, so he went back to the cave where he had some fruits hidden. He got attacked by some animal that was there eating his fruits and somehow managed to enter your pack land. I still can feel how defeated he was, how much he wanted to give up. I, on the other hand, switched back so that I could be the one to die instead of having Forest to witness it. I smiled and thanked them for taking me out of this miserable world, but it didn't happen.' I don't understand why I'm telling him this, but it felt like it's something I needed to get done. I was carrying this burden for so long, that I wanted to be able to talk about it and finally be free.

'I now remember their faces. It was Damian that shouted wait as Miles was about to kill me. It wasn't clear to me why he stopped it, but I have to thank him for doing so. All that time I was afraid of you, when you threw me in the dungeon like a rotten piece of meat, I felt like I wanted to die all over again, no one wanted me, which I couldn't understand, no matter how much I thought it through.' I looked up at Ryker who seemed to be struggling with something.

'From that day when you rejected me I wanted to hate you, but I couldn't. I wanted love, so I let my soul wander to your brother. I wanted to finally be able to have someone with me and knowing he was also searching for his mate, he was my next target.' Ryker furrowed his brows as he looked at me with confusion on his face.

“Wait, how did you know he was searching for his mate?” He asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

'I just knew. Anyway, I had to accept you because the pain of us rejecting each other was also affecting him. I didn't know what to do, and I was confused because I wasn't certain if you would change or not. But today, when I was with Raina, I realized that I should forgive you for all that you did to me. I should forgive you and move on so that we can be happy. I don't know if you're faking your change, but I'm willing to give this a try.' I was shocked when I was suddenly pulled towards Ryker, who had his arms around me, hugging me as if his life depended on it.

“Say it again.” He demanded as he breathed in my scent so that he could calm down.

'Say what again?' I asked, knowing that I've probably said a lot already. That was the most I've ever talked through mind link before, it surprised me as well.

“Tell me how much you forgave me, how much you are willing to give this a try after all I've done to you. Tell me that this isn't a dream and that you're real and here with me now.” He desperately begged as he continued to hug me closer to him. I felt forest stirring a bit, finally coming back from a long rest.

'I forgive you Ryker, I still don't trust you, but I forgive you.' I replied, and he laughed before pulling away from me.

“At least I got something, thank you, Elias, it means a lot to me.” I nodded my head and mentally prepared myself for what I'm about to say next. I just hope that he doesn't fight me on this because I won't change my mind, no matter what he says.