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namkyu

i didn't know if it was the idea that was making me 'fall', or the pain, or maybe... they were raw feelings.

but right now, my head was telling me i liked him, though i wasn't sure. was it because he confessed to me and now i'm just noticing his beauties more? am i unconsciously forcing myself to like him back to make myself feel better?

i was confused.

this feeling just felt like a whole bunch of question marks.

everytime i reminded myself of these 'feelings' sunghoon would pop up in my head. because he was the one who i felt these feelings the most with.

he was always in the back of my mind, even if i didn't want him to be. a small gesture would remind me of him and i hated it so much.

i hated it because i missed it.

and it couldn't be the same with someone else.

i'd hate to see him as i stared into someone else's eyes.

but that's what's happening right now.

i quickly turned my head, pulling my hands up to stop his face from coming any closer. "stop!" i whisper-yelled, in panic.

i didn't even know how it got here in the first place.

i was being pathetic though, that's for sure.

a short 'tsk' came out of his mouth before he backed up, a hand on his hip while the other rubbed his temples in frustration.

"jesus christ, namkyu." he sighed deeply.

my eyes were shut but i finally pryed them open and turned to look at him again. he was annoyed, and it was obvious.

i felt guilty, i mean, who wouldn't?

he turned his head to look at me as he dropped the hand that was near his face, "why are you like this?" he asked, looking at me as if i did something wrong.

i don't know... why am i like this?

i couldn't think of the right words to say, so i just stayed silent with my lips slightly parted, waiting for the quietness to suddenly be interrupted or at least anything that would get me out of this situation.

obviously, nothing was gonna save me from this. it'd be better to just talk right now...

just a few seconds ago, i would've been kissed by jungwon.

it wasn't like i didn't expect it to happen, it just surprised me how all the events that lead up to this moment, really occurred.

how did we even get here...?

actually, a lot happened before we got to that point.

and i mean... a lot.

—earlier

the laughter between the two, namkyu and jungwon, never stopped once it started. they were all smiles that whole night, even walking back to their table, they kept laughing nonstop.

it honestly felt hard to approach them because it seemed like it'd be an interruption to join in their conversation. the two were in their own little world at this point.

the nerve to act like this right as sunghoon was sitting in the same table, it irked him. not only could he not do anything about it, but he had to watch them be like this for the rest of the night.

since this was a celebration related with school, it was a rule that it had to end early. the latest they could stay was 10 pm, and then they're kicked out.

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