Architect and Mrs Dantata

37: AMAL

Ladies and gentlemen, I am pregnant. At least that's what my doctor is telling me right now.

I blink and blink again. It's like that's the only thing I can do right now. Dr Judith smiles back at me, happiness clear as day on her face. "Congratulations, Amal."

Wait...Let's back up a bit. Today's Friday April 17, my first day off in a long, long time. My last day off was the day of Zayd's opening ceremony. Apart from the weekends, I've been working nonstop. I skipped my shot last month, just like I said I would when we were in Giessbach. I meant what I said then; Aliyah did motivate me to want a baby with Zayd but –

No one told me I was going to get pregnant immediately we started trying!

"Amal?"

I shouldn't ignore Dr Judith but I need a minute. Let's start with how I feel. How am I supposed to feel? Right now I'm more of surprised than anything else. That's a good thing, right? Well, at least there's no fear or triggering response so I guess I'm in the clear.

A baby. I'm carrying a baby. Oh my God, how am I going to tell Zayd? How am I going to tell everyone else?! Forget everyone else first. Zayd! Is he going to freak out? Is he going to be happy? Is he going to need a minute the same way I need one now? Is he –?

"Amal!"

That startles me but it also pulls me out of my head. There's worry on Dr Judith's face and it tugs at my heart. She reaches across the table and takes my hand in hers. "Amal, are you okay?"

I nod, exhaling. I smile then. "I just needed a minute. The last thing I expected was you telling me I'm pregnant. I just came in for a full body check-up."

She smiles and it's warm. "Pregnancies can be little surprises...How do you feel about it?"

That's a very good question. "I'm more of surprised than anything else. However, I'm nervous about Zayd's reaction. I don't know how I'm going to tell him."

"You both agreed to try for a baby, right?"

I nod. "Right."

"Then I don't think there'll be a problem. Zayd's a wonderful person, Amal. I have no doubt he'll be thrilled. Also, you don't have to tell him today. You can take some time to wrap your head around it before telling him."

I don't think that's going to work. That man has the eyes of a hawk and he's the most perceptive person I've ever met. Wait a minute. How didn't I know I was pregnant? Surely everyone has signs. Why didn't I have mine?

"Amal, you're zoning out again."

My laugh is way too light. "Sorry. I'm just trying to understand how I had no idea I was pregnant."

"Some pregnancies are like that. You're really lucky, Amal, that you are asymptotic. It's a big blessing, especially the absence of nausea."

But still! "Dr Judith, this is a baby. How can I not know I'm carrying a baby?!"

She laughs. "It happens." She pulls her hand back and stands. "Come on, let's get you scanned. You'll get to see your little one and we'll be able to find out how far along you are."

I think I'm going to need another minute. My heart is in my throat the entire walk to Radiology and Dr Judith gets me a slot on the ultrasound schedule. She stays beside me as we wait, holding my hand in hers and squeezing occasionally. It soothingly reminds me of Zayd and I'm so grateful.

I'm going to have a baby. A human being is going to grow in me. He or she is going to half of Zayd and half of me; maybe even more of me and less of Zayd or vice versa (and I hope this is the case). Ya Allah, I'm going to have a little family with Zayd. Oh my days! Well I'm definitely going to cry now. I wonder what Aliyah felt when she found out she was pregnant. Am I going to be as beautiful as she is right now? I hope I am because she's glowing. Wait, does that mean our kids would be playmates? Yes! They'll be best of friends and I'm definitely going to pull Abel and Abeila into the picture too.