LOVE OR SELF RESPECT??

Chapter 27

After some time Lavanya managed to calm Khushi down, who sat simply looking lost and not knowing what to do or where to go next.

Looking at her silent form, Lavanya thought of initiating the conversation - Khushi, I know whatever you have gone through because of ASR and his family is not something that any girl would wish for. But Khushi all this could have been avoided if you had told ASR or his family in the first place. I know you think about di and all, but it is high time you be practical in your life as well. If Shyam was a creep he had no business in anyone's life let alone Anjali's. Second, why did you get manipulated into getting married to ASR just because he forced you to? Why couldn't you think about your self-respect and think for your own?

Khushi looked at her nodding - "Yes, Lavanya. I allowed him to manipulate me and I had no right to hide this fact from anyone. It was my duty to tell them and it was their decision to trust me or not. I have already realized it and so I am putting myself first and my happiness now".

"Khushi, you know ASR loves you right? You were always special to him, even before your wedding"!

Khushi looked at Lavanya shocked because she didn't think she would be the person to tell her about her husband's feelings for her.

"What? Why do you think so?" - asked Khushi not wanting to tell her that Arnav had confessed to her during his kidnap as this was something very intimate and special for her in the relationship.

"Khushi, I had known very early that ASR had feelings for you and by then I think he was aware of it as well. So I decided to take the initiative and stop whatever we were doing or pretending in front of the family. I don't know what happened ASR suddenly announced our engagement and then I would look at him when he would secretly look at you when he would think that no one was noticing and his rare smiles thrown at you for being funny.

I clearly remember on the day of satya narayana pooja when you left abruptly and he was so upset and kept asking di and kept calling you till you picked up. For the first time, I saw him caring towards someone else other than his sister and I could see the vulnerability in his voice as if he wanted to much more but he didn't know what! And that made me realize that he not only didn't have feelings for me as I had for him but instead, he had all those feelings may be much more than that for you"!

Khushi sat totally surprised not even imagining that Arnav had such deep feelings for her even when Lavanya was present in RM and she never thought this was the reason for them to break their relationship that was set up in the first place because of the ego.

"And then he apologized to me but he was apologizing to you in his head and told your name instead of mine and that was the point I knew, that there was nothing more left for us"!

"I am sorry, Lavanya. Knowingly or unknowingly I became the reason for your separation. I just didn't know at that time. I now think how hurt you might have been seeing me in front of you all the while, while I was also partly responsible for your tears! Khushi spoke genuinely feeling sorry for her friend".

"Don't be silly Khushi! it was neither yours nor ASR's fault. Love just happens. I am telling you this not to change your mind but for you to understand that ASR always had a special place for you in his heart. His love for his di comes naturally because it's his sister and maybe to some extent because of his guilt. But you will always be the one who can make ASR do anything if he thinks he is going to lose you! I am pretty sure his Di is already his second priority now but he is not smart enough to realize that up until now".

"I understand Lavanya! but I just don't want to think from his or others' perspective from now on. I will do what my mind and heart tell me to. It's too late, I will ask HP to send your dinner to your room. Please take a rest"!

Sure, Khushi just let me know if you need me anytime. I'll be here for 2 days and then move to a hotel soon as I don't want to be a part of family drama and make everyone uncomfortable.

"Lavanya, it is up to you and Arnav to decide. I am sure, you know what is best given the situation".

Khushi didn't feel any need to force Lavanya to stay in the house where she was not even welcomed and treated well in the first place. Soon she left her room and came to her room to see Arnav trying to remove the drip line attached to his hand and trying to leave!

"What the hell do you think you are doing? "asked Khushi clearly angry at his careless attitude.

"I wanted ... water... so "I thought Arnav fumbled with his words.

Khushi closed her eyes trying to calm herself down clearly knowing he was not well and today was not easy for him at all.

"You could have called me or waited for some time, I would have given it to you. Don't move, I will get it for you" - Saying this Khushi poured a glass of water and gave it to him.

Arnav did finish drinking water and Khushi took the glass and heard Arnav tell her - "I don't know what others think of me anymore, especially after today's incident".

Khushi looked at him all lost, tired, and devastated he had never seen him like that before.

Arna...Khushi managed to say

"Khushi, do you also think I am like my dad? do you think I cannot be loyal in a relationship and do whatever Nani told me I was capable of? Arnav asked teary-eyed.
And di she just wished I was not even alive and she...she should not have saved me! what am I a monster to get told and treated like this? "and the great ASR cried loudly for the first time in years in front of Khushi!

Nothing could have prepared Khushi for the sight in front of her. Her husband and the person she loved the most was crying uncontrollably.

Khushi kept the glass aside and managed to sit next to him on the bed and touched his shoulder calling his name softly. The next moment she felt his arms going around her and his cries got louder remembering the harsh words that were thrown at him today after so many years!

Khushi hugged him caressing his back and trying to soothe him by her touch. "Arnav, you did whatever you could do to your best capabilities, Anjali is lucky to have you as her brother. Despite whatever you did, you did not deserve the words and treatment that you got today from your di and Nani. Don't think otherwise".

After some time Khushi felt Arnav was again losing his energy and he was still holding on to her as if she was the last support he had! slowly she detangled herself and wiped his tear-stricken face bought his food and made him eat which he ate silently and lay on the bed with Khushi holding his hand till he fell asleep to give him the comfort that he needed and some relief for herself as well!