The 10 Steps To A Boy's Heart

Chapter 23

"Kiss me." Zander says and he looks so serious that I have to stifle the laugh that bubbles up my throat. 

Why the hell would I do anything remotely affectionate with someone who had his tongue down another girls torso just an hour ago? 

I blink a few times and then make a second attempt at pushing his arms away. It's no use, they might as well be a brick wall and suddenly that causes a different kind of reaction within me. I remember large arms blocking my path, usually followed by a slap on the face or punch in the gut. 

I shiver, nerves firing throughout my body making me tense up so tightly. I close my eyes, body shaking as I pray for the moment to pass, to be able to escape the pain today. 

"Hey, Danielle. It's okay. Breathe." Zander moves away, giving me some space. He then strokes my arms urgently because he's right, I've stopped breathing. I'm currently holding my breath, waiting, praying for it to be over quickly. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you like that." I hear his soothing words but they're far off, like he's talking to me from a distance. "Danielle, breathe!"

He shakes me slightly and I finally come to my senses. I suck in a long breath, gulping down the air as I slide to the ground. 

"You're okay. You're okay." He's rubbing my arms gently, telling me those same words over and over again but I don't feel okay. Haven't felt so in years. 

"I'm sorry," I choke out the words, feeling tears brim at the corners of my eyes. I quickly wipe them away with my knuckles, half wanting to punch myself for losing it so easily. 

"What are you even apologising for?" Zander frowns, admonishing me. "You did nothing wrong. I was the pushy bastard who didn't know his limits. It's always my fault remember?"

I laugh, the sound I make scratchy and low making him smile as well. 

"Come on," Zander holds on to my shoulders, helping me up. "Let's get you home so you can tackle that paper you've been whining about." 

"I would hardly call it whining," I pout unhappily. "And right now all I want is sleep. Will just do that tomorrow or whatever." 

"Whatever?" He chuckles. "What have I done to you?" 

I stick my tongue out at him and proceed to walk away. Soon enough I feel his feet trampling the grass next to me. 

"So we're forgetting I have a car and that the campus has walkways?" He asks from my side.

I put up a finger to make a point and then the second. "One, the car should rest after all the attention it's been getting. And two, this is a short cut."

"Okay, boss. Lead the way." 

Most of the bright lights from the stadium fade out as we close the distance to my dorm. The night sky is bright and clear and I find Zander looking up ever so often. 

"Why do you like astronomy so much?" I ask him after a long bout of silence. 

He shrugs, gaze fixed on the brightest star above us. It must be Venus and tonight it is absolutely glowing. 

"I don't know. It just makes you feel so small, you know. Down here, it's easy to feel so self important, like my worries are the biggest most important thing. But when I look up at the stars, at the large expanse of space, it only makes me realise how small I am." 

Okay, I did not expect that answer from an attention seeking individual. 

"Wouldn't being insignificant only make me feel worse?" I wonder out loud, stifling a yawn as exhaustion kicks in. Today has been a long day and tonight, even longer. All I want to do is fall on my bed and succumb to that beautiful thing called sleep.