The 10 Steps To A Boy's Heart

Chapter 28

The hallway lights are dimmed. There's one above our heads, flickering on and off, looking like it's about to fuse. It's darker here, more quiet and it only makes our proximity feel more intimate. 

Zander leans closer, his fingers skimming my bare shoulders. I resist the urge to flinch, even when he kisses my cheek again softly. I'm supposed to be interested in him but it's hard to keep the discomfort I feel hidden beneath the surface. 

We pass by a wandering couple and I catch the guy smirking at Zander, as if reading his mind. He winks at him before passing by. 

"Welcome to my humble abode." Zander bows dramatically after he opens his door and I take in the warm yellow lighting, the posters of The Dallas Cowboys lining his walls. There are two beds but I notice one is covered with a large bundle of clothes. 

Zander scratches the back of his neck when he catches me looking. "Just a bit of laundry. Haven't gotten around to it yet." 

His cheeks are warm with embarrassment and somehow he looks so much softer like this. So much more likeable. 

"You do your own laundry?" It's not something I would ask another student here on campus but after being in Zander's sports cars and attending charity galas with him, it's hard to imagine him folding clothes. 

"Well Clara sometimes comes over to help out. I don't really have the time with all my training and classes and.." 

"Social life?" I finish off for him and his grin widens. 

"Yes." He takes my hand in his, pulling me further into the room before shutting the door behind us. 

"Who's Clara?" I ask, my heart hammering in my chest now that we are alone. "How does your roommate tolerate this mess?" 

I gesture to the mess on the other bed but honestly it feels like I'm just stalling for time. There's some soft melodious music wafting through the air, coming from the speakers on his desk. The beats are slow and sensual, making me wonder if he chose this deliberately. 

Our last conversation was so vulnerable and raw. Zander told me about his mum's passing, about the constant fighting between his parents. About his father's infidelities. He confided in me as a friend and now he's trying to get into my pants. 

In this case, dress but it means the same thing. I can't let this happen. I need the dynamic to stay in my favour but rejecting him outright might ruin everything. 

My mind's racing, wondering what I could possibly do to escape this. 

"Clara's one of our housekeepers. Sometimes she comes over to help out but not too often. It's pretty embarrassing to have someone clean up after you here." Zander answers smiling. "You want to top that up?" He gestures to the drink in my hand and only then do I notice I've been clutching the plastic cup tightly. 

"Umm, no." I reply, taking a tentative sip. 

He sits down next to me and our thighs are brushing against each others and suddenly I think of Elizabeth. Did they have sex here, on this bed? 

The thought alone makes me infinitely more uncomfortable. 

"Thanks for coming." He tells me earnestly and I look up at him, at the honey warm brown of his eyes and the mole on his chin. It's not fair that he's this handsome. That he has practically every aspect of his life going for him and if I had been genuinely interested, this moment would mean the world to me. 

But knowing Zander, I'd just be another name to add to the growing list of casualties. Best part is, he might not even remember my name after a few months.