Masks Always Fall

Chapter 22

I briskly made my way to my locker, Calculus textbook and notebooks clutched to my chest as usual. But rounding the corner, I froze at the familiar sight before me.

Kayley and Noah stood close together at their shared locker, laughing as easily as always. A pang shot through me at how perfectly natural they looked, without me wedged between. It had only been a week since I distanced myself to sort through the chaos in my head, but it felt like an eternity.

Guilt crashed over me in sickening waves. I'd been a terrible friend, avoiding their calls and concern, giving only vague excuses about needing space. They didn't deserve my abandonment during what should've been our joyful senior year.

Noah must've sensed my stare, because her laughing eyes flicked up to meet mine across the hall. The smile fell from her face, replaced by guarded caution all too reminiscent of those early days before we bonded. As if we'd reverted to strangers once more.

Kayley followed her gaze, lips drawing into a tight line upon spotting me drowning in shame. Neither made a move to approach, and I couldn't blame them.

Drawing on every ounce of courage, I slowly walked over to where they stood by the lockers. Kayley noticed me approach and crossed her arms with a scowl, her newly dyed pink hair swaying defiantly.

"Oh, so now you're talking to us?" she said accusingly as I stopped before them. 

Noah shot her a look, then nudged her shoulder gently. "Kayles, chill." She turned to face me, expression resigned but open. "What's up, Em?"

I swallowed hard, tears pricking my eyes under the weight of their mixed reactions. Of course they were hurt - I deserved nothing less after my avoidance.

"I'm so sorry," I began shakily, eyes downcast. "I never should have shut you both out, not without explanation. You're my best friends and you didn't do anything wrong."

Kayley's stance relaxed marginally as I stumbled over an apology. Noah remained quiet, watching me struggle to find the right words through my jumbled thoughts and feelings.

"I'm still figuring some things out," I admitted helplessly. "But I promise, it won't happen again. Please, can you forgive me?"

Kayley tucked her arms tightly around me, her stiff posture melting away as she grasped me in an unexpectedly warm embrace. "I missed you, girl!" she exclaimed next to my ear.

Her quick forgiveness catch me off guard, so used to her volatile mood swings after days of silence. I let out a watery chuckle, patting her back in relief. "Have you been checked for bipolar?" I teased gently.

She drew back to shoot me a look, though the corner of her mouth twitched upward. "Have you?" she retorted. "One minute you're vanishing without a word, the next you're all weepy apologies. Make up your mind already, Emma!"

But there was no heat behind her words. Her eyes, ringed dramatically with smudged liner as always, crinkled tenderly. Suddenly I remembered how dearly I cherished this mess of brightly colored hair and sharp quips that was my best friend Kayley.

"I'm working on it, I promise," I said softly, gratitude swelling anew. Her - their - forgiveness meant everything, giving me courage to keep facing this tangled mess head on.

When Noah pulled me into a hug, I clung to her gratefully. "I really missed you," She murmured, and my defenses crumbled at her kindness.

"Me too," I replied, though I wasn't sure if I meant missing them, or missing myself too. I'd become so detached over the past weeks, not recognizing the girl my friends knew. Hurting people, ignoring the two people who loved me unconditionally, falling for Ms. Clarke, a woman who would never feel the same about me.