Masks Always Fall

Chapter 25

In Julianne's point of view

The long day finally catching up to me, I trudged through my front door and practically collapsed against the kitchen counter. Kicking off my shoes, I dropped my bag unceremoniously onto the floor and dragged my hands down my face with an exhausted groan.

So much had happened since that fraught study session turned into so much more. Reliving it all still felt surreal - how a simple question spiraled into witnessing Emma's deepest trauma, then tentatively exploring feelings between us I'd scarcely allowed myself to admit existed.

Her turmoil clearly ran deep, the scars of past trauma freshly stirred. Yet beneath it all shone her resilience, her blossoming spirit refusing to be quashed. I admired her strength immensely.

And that sweet, hesitant kiss...a simple gesture that meant the world, stirring confused hopes and tremors in my stomach I hadn't felt in years.

What was I doing, letting this develop with Emma? I sank onto a kitchen chair, dropping my head into my hands.

I could lose everything. Any whiff of impropriety with a student and my career, my reputation would crash and burn. I'd be left with nothing after trying so hard to build this life.

What did Emma feel really - just gratitude for emotional support during vulnerable times? Could this blossom into something real between us? At what cost to us both? I wanted so badly to offer her solace, yet leading anywhere deeper seemed impossibly fraught.

A million doubts and dangers swirled through my mind on endless repeat. How could I support her trauma without sustaining my own wounds? Was balancing on this razor's edge wise, or did my heart overrule good sense?

With a weary sigh, I pulled out my phone and dialed Tilly's number, hoping a night out with friends could help clear my troubled mind. 

She answered on the third ring. "Hey Jules, what's up?"

"Hey Til. I was wondering if you and Ellie want to hit The watering hole tonight? I could really use a drink and some distraction."

In the background I heard Ellie pipe up sarcastically, "Woah, watch out, Teach must be in real trouble if she's willingly socializing on a weeknight."

Tilly chuckled. "Ignore her. Yeah, we're free. Everything okay?" Her tone shifted to one of concern.

I rubbed my forehead. "Honestly, not really. It's...a long story. I just need to unwind and stop thinking for a few hours if possible."

"Say no more. We'll meet you there at 8," Tilly replied soothingly.

My shoulders slumped in relief. "Thanks Til. You're a lifesaver."

"What are friends for? See you soon, Jules." 

Hanging up, I let out a breath, grateful for their company.

I rushed to get ready for the night out with friends, hoping immersing myself in the bar scene could drown out my turbulent thoughts, if only temporarily.

Yanking open my closet, I grabbed a vivid red off-the-shoulder crop top, knowing its bold color and low cut neckline always drew admiring looks. As I pulled it on, my fingers brushed the delicate inked swirls that wound up my arms - tattoos I normally kept hidden under professional attire.

My mind jumped unbidden to that fateful study session, remembering the spark of curiosity and attraction in Emma's wide eyes as she traced their linings covertly with her gaze. Her interest had surprised yet flattered me, against all logic stirring hope and confusion within my well-guarded heart.