Bound By Love, Torn By Loyalty

CHAPTER ONE

     The first day back to school after winter break. Shit. Yes, my sleeping schedule may have gone a little too out of hand, but that isn't the point. 

     I'm finally seeing my best friend after her 2 week long escapade to Italy, her birthplace, to visit her family, and holy shit, I miss her. Nessa has been here for everything, so when I see her walk through the doors of our favourite cafe, Cristina's, I can't help but run into her arms. Her long curly hair snakes around me due to the cold winter morning air. Her golden locks glisten in the sunlight. Her bright warming face is flushed with pink. I am met with cosiness and love when her arms wrap around me. She is much taller than me so I have to go on my tiptoes to hug her. I don't mind though. I love her. I still remember when we were younger and literally all we could talk about were kpop boys that we obsessed over. Or our crushes who we saw in the hallway and found hot as fuck. Our love for kpop still continues... were just not that weird about it anymore. As for the boys in general, Nessa got into a really bad relationship, and now the topic has never come up again. 

     I wish I could tell her of the boy I sit next to in music. Mustafa. Mustafa. His long black locks fall over his cheek when hes writing. It's adorable. Half the time I don't even know what my music teacher is talking about. I get too lost in his stark hazel eyes, or his pink, plump lips, or his deep endearing voice. He always wears his leather jacket. It makes him look mysterious and hot.

     He was sitting all alone on the first day of school. He had a guitar in his arms, as if straddling it because he didn't know how to use it. He was wearing the leather jacket. His hair was shorter back then. I don't know what or who told him to grow it longer but I love it. And then a string of harmony came from him. It was beautiful. I may have paid too much attention to his hands, working its way up and down the guitar, my eyes drawn over him. Maybe he knew more about guitars than I thought, a grin sneaking its way onto my face. He looked and his dark brown skin went red practically instantaneously. Maybe I went red too because he laughed. A deep, husky laugh. Next thing I knew, we were both laughing. I don't know what had gotten into me but as soon as I locked eyes with him the whole world drowned around me. And it was just us, bound to love. 

     Ever since that day I loved him. We talked and laughed like life was all la di da. It wasn't. It wasn't because I was so in love with him, just hopelessly in love. And he has a mystery girlfriend who I can't know because he "doesn't know me well enough". My fucking ass. We had known each other for around 4 months now and he still has the audacity to treat me like just a friend. Yes, I may be jealous, but who wouldn't be when you finally had a good chance at a man and you can't even have him. 

********************

     Me and Nessa finally got to our class. Our only class we had together was dance. It was the only part of my day that I actually liked. Apart from hanging out with Mustafa of course. Although we talked to each other everyday and face-timed every night, it still didn't feel the same as going to Cristina's and talking for hours on end, non-stop. Obviously we didn't have hours with a coffee in our hands. But we had hours at class and that's all that mattered to me. On our way I finally saw a glimpse of Mustafa... with a girl in his arms. My faced dropped. Dropped at the golden curves of her, the striking blonde hair, that contrasted yet complimented Mustafas black. And of course, the ocean eyes. 

     I should've known. Of course I wasn't his type. I wear a goddamn hijab, and my eyes aren't all glowy and inviting, they're just dark and black and uninviting. And I definitely do not have any curves to show off underneath my modest clothes. 

     I tried to hold back tears and move onwards as if nothing happened. Then Nessa gasps. I follow the direction of her eyes as it presents me with Mustafa kissing the girl. 

     "You know Mustafa?" I ask Nessa, a line of question readying itself to come out of my mouth.

     "I know Chloe," so that's her name "She sits next to me in physics." right, because she is actually clever and makes clever friends. 

     Nessa continues, "I knew she had a boyfriend but I never knew it was him." She put a weird emphasis on "him" as if she did know Mustafa after all. Suddenly all those questions disappear and I'm left thinking that I don't know Nessa as well as I thought. 

     "We should go back." I say, a weird soften creeping into my voice. I have to remind myself that Nessa only goes to dance for fun. I always try to make sure this just gives her an opportunity to be herself, freeing her of the stresses that come with trying to become a pilot. We are lucky we even ended up in the same class. But today that isn't the case.

     We walk into school together, in silence. We walk into dance together, in silence. We listen in class together, in complete, utter silence.