Bound By Love, Torn By Loyalty

CHAPTER TWELVE

     I wake up the next morning to go through my normal morning routine. It takes everything in my power not to text Nessa to see if we can hang out before dance class, but I already know the answer to that. My brain itches at the time I had last night, the song, Nessa's solemn face, Chloe's characteristic rage. My brain is still foggy from everything, all I can focus on is the look on Mustafa's face when he started singing to me. I can't help but think that he's in love with me. He can't be, not when Chloe's around. Not with her blue eyes, her blonde hair, her captivating body, and her siren like voice, that can get any man on his knees just to appreciate her. The complete opposite of me who constantly embarrasses herself and yet continues to try to be lively and enigmatic as people always see me as. 

     Today I will try my hardest to not be an embarrassment. I throw on modest gym attire, the only few I have since everything is too showy or because I never bother to go out and buy myself cute gym clothes. I never saw the appeal. I throw on a cap and leave the house to go to Cristina's for a very well needed iced latte. Ever since that moment with me and Nessa at Cristina's I have avoided it to reduce the amount of times we run into each other. However, as far as I know she is still going there daily, so I decide to be confident and just go. Even if I see her it won't be that deep. We see each other in the hallways all the time, and weekly in our dance lessons. It wouldn't make a difference if I went inside our favourite cafe and bumped into her. Right?

     I decide to walk all the way to Cristina's. Despite it being only around 15 minutes off campus, I usually take the bus there, and spring is finally coming round the corner. I am notorious for being summer's biggest hater, but every now and then I feel I can appreciate the warmth. 

     Half way through the walk and I'm already regretting this. Not much longer though. 

     I make it there and it so happens that I see Nessa's sun bleached hair at the front of the line, glittering from the sunlight. Cristina's has a lot of open space, the large windows brightening the rustic room. 

     I get to the end of the line just as Nessa makes her way from the counter with her iced latte. As soon as she locks eyes with me her whole body freezes and her eyes widen as if she saw a ghost. She quickly walks away and gets to the outdoor seating. My eyes follow her as she walks and goes to sit down. She knows I'm watching her but is determined to keep her head down, so I look away. I order my coffee and go sit down to wait for my order to be called. My body is telling me to put my head back up and see if Nessa is still her, but I refuse and cover my face with my cap. I catch myself up on social media before my order gets called, then proceed to sit back down with my refreshing iced latte. The ice coldness of it hits the back of my throat, perfecting this morning with a cherry on top. 

     I finish the rest of my drink while on the bus back to Newat and make my way towards Dance class. I'm about to cross a corner when I see Nessa again. i step a little more forward to see Mustafa standing directly beside her. Emphasis on directly, because their chests are literally touching. A flash of jealousy runs through me. 

     I plan on continuing to the dance studio but my feet are stuck in the ground. I get curious about this situation so I stay where I am, just leaning a little closer to hear better. I take out my phone to pretend I'm preoccupied. 

     "Babe, my hormones are all over the place right now, I don't wanna think about last night." Nessa says. Babe?!?!?! I am so confused. Does Chloe know about this? If so I am feeling more left out than ever

     "It was about you, why aren't you listening?" Mustafa shouts quietly, trying to make sure no one hears, while clearly showing some anger. Are they talking about the song? My heart drops at the thought, but I continue to listen. 

     "You don't even love me!" Nessa screams. I hear her push off his chest from hers. "I'm going to class." I am discombobulated. I'm not sure if I want to even know more. 

     I hear the sound footsteps slowly decreasing, and when I think the coast is clear I walk to my class. Instead I collide with Mustafa's chest. This needs to stop happening. 

     "Sorry sweetheart." He says in a deep husky voice. Yet his eyes are elsewhere.

     "Oh Mustafa, I didn't see you there." I reply. He runs a hand through his hair, his rage clearly struggling to dissipate. Then his eyes finally meet mine and I'm suddenly conscious of how close we are. 

     "Shit." He mutters under his breath, squirming at something. Then he looks at me and asks, "Did you hear what I just said by any chance?" 

      I consider telling the truth, but the false words spill out of my mouth. "No, I didn't even know you were here until just a second ago."

     "Okay good," He breathes out. "I'm going to go. See you later."

     "See you." I say before stepping towards the dance studio. Most awkward conversation of my life. It's kind of ironic, because me and Mustafa can talk about absolutely anything. 

     The whole entire lesson Nessa avoids me. All I ever saw was her back to mine across the opposite of the room. I'm suspicious.