Bound By Love, Torn By Loyalty

CHAPTER TWO

     It's Saturday now and I finally got a break from... well, life. I have always dedicated Sundays for everything showers, friends and family. So of course I'm going to be spilling all the tea to my friend group. 

     But this is different. 

     A part of me wants to tell my friends so bad, but I know it's better if I cease my blabber-mouthing for once. Normally I tell them all the drama concerning the last week (and catch up, of course) but this is regarding Nessa, my best friend. I've already messed up multiple times over the years because I couldn't just shove it up my arse like everyone else. I don't think she understands how guilty I feel about it all, especially the fact that she stayed with me through all of it. We are indestructible. 

     Sabrina would probably laugh at all this anyway. And Tasha would join her. Then, probably Ivy. Amanda would just stand there confused to be honest. Guess it has something to do with being ginger.

     Subsequently, I see them walking through the grand double-doors of Nando's. Of course they immediately come in laughing their fucking asses off about god knows what. I honestly do not feel like putting a smile on today but I choose otherwise anyway. First, Sabrina walks in - looking astonishing as ever - her short, black wavy hair blowing behind her in the wind. She's dressed in light-washed baggy jeans with a cream hoodie and her go-to long, black puffer coat for the cold winters. To the right of her is Amanda, her freckles a stark contrast to her pale complexity. She's currently giving Tash a dirt for calling her ass fat. I don't know why she gets offended by that stuff when she literally has an amazing ass, especially in her black slacks with a fitting, black shirt tucked in and a trench coat thrown on top. She opted for her long, luscious locks to be put in a claw clip, the colour matching the light blue of her jacket and Nike dunks.She looks gorgeous! Behind them is Ivy with Tasha to her left. Ivy is obviously wearing her normal attire, black. Although, she does seem to have either gone shopping or gone through Tasha's closet because instead of her normal jeans shes wearing cargo trousers accessorised by an assortment of chains. Her jet black hair has been styled to emphasise her wolf-cut, and she looks amazing. She has a basic hoodie though. And a basic black coat. And her basic girl black Air Force 1s. Tasha however is everything but basic. Her long, straight hair is flowing behind her with two dutch braids running along the sides of her head, emphasising the brown highlights of her natural hair, and stopping midway to create a half up half down look. She even went the extra limit to add lilac ribbons in her hair to match her cream sweater with some lilac ribbons sitting at the sides of lettering on her shirt that reads "positive thoughts". She has sandy beige cargo trousers on - with more lilac ribbons and some butterfly graphics - and cream and black low dunks. She is also wearing a basic black puffer. 

     I'm wearing what I normally wear. Modest clothing. I decided not to wear and abaya today and experiment with clothes, so today I'm in a black skirt that goes down just past my knees and am wearing a brown wool sweater on-top to match my tall knee high boots to make me taller. I wish I wasn't this short to the point where I have to wear shoes like these but it is what it is I guess.

     Tasha immediately runs up to me to hug me, and I run back to fall in her floral scent. We always did that for some reason and then we never stopped. 

     "Hi!" she exclaims, "How are you?"

     "I'm good." I lie but still paste on a smile.

     Then I go and hug everyone else. Every time I go to touch my chin on their necks I am met with a gold chain. We all have a matching necklace that we got 5 years ago that we all still wear to this day (that surprisingly none of us has lost).

     "Nessa isn't here yet, I think she's gonna come later." I say. 

     "What the hell, that's so weird, she's either early or would tell us she's gonna be late" Tasha says. 

     "OMG shes having sex with someone and forgot about this," Sab says. She proceeds to fake cry. Everyone erupts into laughter at that. Except me.

     "Guys stop joking around and let's just go get a table."

     I hear Tasha muttering under breath to someone. Shit, they already know I'm just not in the mood.

********************

     We all laugh chat and enjoy ourselves until we all finally get a text from Nessa on our group chat. We take a second to look at our phones as we have been expecting something from her for an hour and receive a short message saying, "Sorry I can't make it". We all understand we shouldn't pressure her into telling us why so we reply with various different things all implying that "it's fine". It isn't and we all know it. But then Ivy hits me with something unexpected. "Did you do something Mary?" I initially thought it was a joke, but then I looked around to see all four of their faces were serious and sombre. My face drops in horror at that question. 

     "No you fucking idiots." 

     I stand up to leave. How dare they question me like that? I get it I've fucked up before but not everything is about me. As soon as I turn around I hear Tasha's stern voice. "Maryam sit down"

     "WHAT?"I exclaim, "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU WANT?"  Now they are all looking at me with disgust. 

    "Look you can't blame us for thinking like this when you have been quiet all evening. Just sit down and we can talk. Plus your'e embarrassing us." Of course she said that. I've always been the embarrassment in the group. I tell them I couldn't care less but they do. And I would do anything for them. But I really don't wanna listen to them right now. Especially Tasha. Honestly, sometimes she thinks shes the shit  when she pretends to care by trying to fix our issues. 

     "Maryam, don't start beef with your own friends, we are trying to talk."

     I hate how she still puts on a calm inviting voice. It almost makes me feel guilty for shouting at her. Almost. 

     "Get the fuck out of my face." I tell them. But then I feel a hand reaching towards me. 

     "Wait." Amanda says helplessly. I'm too angry to have sympathy, even for Amy. She drops her arm and possibly her self worth. 

     I run off, red hot with fury. Unfortunately I get really red, really easily, so I probably look like a tomato. I feel burning hot. I need fresh air or I'm going to faint. 

     Eventually, I reach the outside of the restaurant after a long awkward walk of knowing that everyone was looking at me while struggling to get through the bustle of Nando's. I fan myself to cool down faster. I realise I left without giving them money for my part of the bill. I take out my phone to send them money and call an Uber. Then it all comes to me in an overwhelming rush. I wasn't rational at all. How much do I pay? I cant just go back in. I had my moment already and as confident as I normally am, I am desperate not to have a reason to go back in there. I just stand outside of Nando's in panic. 

     Then I see a tall mysterious man walking towards me, smiling. I can't tell who it is due to his hood covering the majority of his face. And then it hits me. Mustafa.

     "Hey do you need a ride?" Even in dark lighting I still see the sharp contours of his handsome face. 

     "No that's okay. I'm just gonna call an Uber." I answer.

     "You know it's not safe for women to be alone at this time. I was just heading home anyway." In his defence, he is right. It's almost 10:00pm and it's been dark since 4:00pm. I just want all this tension to be over.

     "I know, but it's okay. I really don't wanna trouble you." I walk forward to walk past him. Suddenly, my head collided with a hard, strong chest. I look up to see Mustafa's deep brown eyes staring right back at me. Even in my tall boots I have to tip my head far back to look at him. His mouth is a mere few centimetres away from mine. Our noses graze against each other. For a minute, I think he's going to kiss me, but then he swerves so his breath caresses my ear while he speaks, "Let me take you home." he says. At that, I simply nod and follow him to his car across the road.