A Vampire's Marine (boyxboy)

Sneak Peek for chapter 43

Sneak Peek

My knees would have buckled if I didn't have the wall to keep me upright.

My mind was processing his words but it wasn't processing his words. And when I looked at him, I wasn't looking at him. Instead I was wrapped up in my mind and in his words, trying to make sense of what he'd said and trying to understand how his words could possibly be true.

I took a breath, but I felt as though it didn't quiet reach my lungs, so I sucked in more and more until I realized I was hyperventilating and even then, it wasn't until Rien's hands came to cup either side of my face that I could get myself under some semblance of control.

The only thoughts running through my mind; over and over again like a never-ending storm was that I couldn't deal with anything else. I couldn't take any more hurt. I couldn't do it. I couldn't take anymore. Just one more whiff of bad news and I knew I would break. I would break and that would be the end of me because I wouldn't be able to glue myself back together.

So  I watched Rien's worried face as he held mine and peered into my eyes and I found myself wondering how he could do this to me. Why would he do this to me? How could he be so cruel?

"Why are you lying to me?" I whispered brokenly and when he only looked at me in confusion, I placed my hands on his chest and shoved him away from me.

"I am not lying to you love." He said simply, but he looked so serious; so honest and I shook my head slowly; not to clear it, but because I didn't know what else to do.

"You're saying they're—" I couldn't get the rest of the words out. I couldn't say them because it would hurt too much when.... I shook my head. "Why are you lying to me?' I asked him again; this time feeling an anguish I'd only felt twice in my lifetime; The first time was when Rien had left me and the second was when I'd learned that my entire unit had died in the bombing.

Now here he stood telling me that they were alive. Here is stood lying to my face; trying to hurt me—as though I hadn't been hurt enough throughout my life.

Again I asked myself how he could be so cruel.

"I only speak the truth Tony." He continued and I half turned away from him; barely able to stand the sight of him in that moment. "Your team is alive. It was only your driver who perished."

"This is your way of trying to get me to leave isn't it?" I said softly. "You want me away from here so bad that you're trying to hurt me."

"No love," when he stepped closer to me, I held up an unsteady hand in an attempt to ward him off.

"If you want me gone that bad, then I will." I told him, looking his way. "But don't you fucking taunt me with them." I cursed. "Don't you fucking dangle them in front of me when you know they aren't coming back!" My voice shook at the end and gritted my teeth to keep all my unwanted emotions at bay.

"I gave you my blood as soon as I found you. Then when I knew you would be okay, I pulled each of them from the wreckage and allowed them to drink from me." Rien was saying with conviction. "I saved their lives because at the time I had known that they had come to mean so much to you." His eyes met and held mine. "They do not know that I am the reason they now breathe, but I used my influence to have them each discharged from your army. They now live their lives as civilians; even if they are unaware why or how that came to be.

I watched his face through it all and not once did he falter ; not once did his eyes leave mine.

He was serious. He was serious.

I stared at him in shock and then I stared some more and when the words really and truly sank in, I felt a wave of emotion hit me and once again the air whooshed out of my body.

He was telling the truth.

My men: my beautiful, precious, perfect men. My brothers; my family.

They were alive!

They were alive. As I rode on the wave of relief and disbelief, I felt as though I could just fall to the ground; and I did. Without taking any real notice, my knees buckled and I fell. I heard the thud of my knees on the ground, but I didn't really feel their impact. I just knew I was there and my men were alive and my men were alive and my men were alive.

I knew that Rien was crouched beside me; speaking words that I couldn't even process. I felt him touch my cheek in the same moment that another wave of euphoria rocked through my body. I felt like I could just sit there and weep, but my relief was so profound that I couldn't even manage that.

"You saved them." I whispered when Rien's concerned face came into focus.

"I did."

It was then that it occurred to me. "And you let me mourn them."

He nodded hesitantly. "You must understand Tony." He began, then paused briefly. "It was necessary."

I felt very tired then – like a lifetime of exhaustion had fallen onto my shoulders and I slumped. The fatigue from my injuries and whatever emotional ordeal I'd gone through because of it, had finally caught up with me. I realized that I couldn't sit through another selfish, misguided explanation of his. I needed to just close my eyes for a while.

"Rien, I'm tired." I said, interrupting whatever he was about to say.

He watched me first with concern, then finally; understanding.

"Of course my love." Not a moment later, he scooped me off the ground and lifted me to him like I weighed nothing.

At another time my pride would have launched me out of his arms, but this time everything was turning to fog around me and Rien's face dimmed and dimmed until I saw only back. Then I saw nothing at all as I drifted off to sleep.

                                                                         AUTHOR'S NOTES

IT'S TAKING ME A BIT LONGER THAN I ANTICIPATED TO COMPLETE CHAPTER 43 SO I THOUGHT I'D GIVE YOU A LITTLE PEEK AT IN WHILE YOU WAIT JUST A BIT LONGER.

THANK YOU

#LOVEWINS

-DoUbLe.A

-unedited.