LGBT+ True Coming Out Stories

Genderfluid, Pansexual

Age: 15

Sexuality: Pansexual

Gender: Fluid

Instagram: Lord_Merpsicle

I have two moms. I was adopted by my biological aunt when I was two years old because my bio parents wanted a better life for me than they could provide. I grew up believing that I was a girl and I liked boys. Sure, I loved dressing up in my brother's clothes sometimes and playing with hot wheels, and I could obviously tell that girls were pretty, but I never thought much of it. I thought that all that was totally normal. But then high school started and I joined the GSA. That's when I learned that there was more than just Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans. I learned what Gender Fluid was, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it defined me. My last two years of middle school, I thought I was transgender, but I told myself I couldn't be because there were days when I absolutely loved wearing skirts and makeup. When I found out that I was gender fluid, and felt relieved to know that I wasn't alone. Then there was the sexuality to figure out. For a while I'd been telling my friends I was bisexual, but never telling my parents because I was afraid to. Yea, they're gay, but a wave of fear went through me every time I even thought about coming out to them. But then I learned what Pansexual was. I didn't think it was me, until I started dating this kid. When we started dating, he was Dylan. But three days later, he told the GSA that he preferred she/her pronouns and wished to be called Liara. That's when I got really confused. If I'm dating somebody who's Trans, does that mean I'm not bi? As time went on, I began telling my friends that I was Pansexual.

Eventually Liara and I broke up and I started seeing this girl named Lauren. She was the person who gave me the strength to come out to my parents. She hadn't come out herself, afraid that her mom wouldn't accept her, but she had come out to her dad, who had divorced her mom and moved to a different state. When I got up the courage to come out to my parents, I practiced for two weeks standing in front of the mirror and saying "I want you to know that I don't identify as a girl or a boy, but both. Also...my friend Lauren is actually my girlfriend and I'm in love with her. No, I'm not gay. I am Pansexual, which means that I don't like people based off their gender."
After I was sure I was ready, I sat them down and I said it all. Them being two lesbians, I expected a loving acceptance from them. Instead, I was told that I had never felt or thought these things before, the GSA was influencing me, and I wasn't allowed to go to another meeting or see Lauren ever again. I was hurt. When Lauren and I started dating, we stopped going to the GSA so we could be alone, so I knew not going wouldn't be a problem. But I couldn't even THINK about leaving her. She was the first person I wanted to see every single day, and she was the last person I talked to every single night. I'm a sophomore in high school now. Lauren broke up with me last year, and I'm still in love with her and probably always will. She doesn't talk to me anymore, and I'm not sure why, but I'm slowly becoming OK with it. My parents still believe I was influenced, and one of my parents, Paula, constantly tells me that if I'm pansexual then I can go fuck a dog (because that's TOTALLY what pansexual means). My other mom, Natalie, isn't home much because she works a lot, but she always takes Paula's side in every argument. I've given up trying to get them to understand. It's made my life a living hell, and since coming out to them, they've taken every technological device away from me and don't allow my friends to call me, so I have no contact with anybody outside of school. It's made me insanely depressed and I've thought about killing myself a few times, but I've made no attempt to actually do so and my friends are helping me stay strong.
I wanted my story to be heard because there are people who believe that gay parents try and force their children to be gay, and that's not true. My parents refuse to let me be anything but straight. I used to think this made them terrible parents, but I realize now that they just don't want me to be treated the same way they are by people who don't accept people like me. I still wish I didn't live with them, but I have nowhere to go so I'm stuck with them until I graduate and go to college.