Beast (Grimm MC)

Chapter 9

I woke up covered in sweat. The whimpers and grunts next to me made me realize that it wasn't my own sweat. Turning towards the man in bed next to me, I saw that he was still fast asleep. His body was tossing and turning, knocking the blanket off of the bed. He kept getting louder until he started screaming. 

"Beast," I tried to shake him. "Callum, wake up." 

He bolted up right, gun appearing from nowhere cocked and ready. Wild eyes looked around the room until they finally settled on me. His chest was heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath. 

I cautiously put a hand on his arm. "Are you okay?" 

"Just a dream. Go back to bed." He orders, running a hand through his hair. 

"Just a dream wouldn't have you screaming out like that." I point out, not listening to his orders. "I'm not going to go back to sleep until you tell me about it." 

His voice was shaky as he spoke. "Ghosts from my past haunting me." 

I knew what he meant. PTSD must have been one of the things that drove him here after the war. A lot of the men used to be in the military, I discovered that recently. One of the older men told me it was how he dealt with trying to adjust to normal life again. This was the first sign of it that I'd witnessed from Beast. 

"I remember being overseas, thinking about how I couldn't wait to come back." He starts to tell me, surprising me that he was going to open up. "The closer I got to my deployment being over, the more shit I seemed to land in. Things started to go south a month before I came home. I had to do a lot of bad shit, Belle." 

The month before he came home. That was when he stopped talking to me. I'd stopped receiving letters and calls from him then. I remembered thinking the worst until I saw him when he got back. He hadn't said anything to me, like I didn't exist. It broke my heart. 

"Is that why you cut me out?" I ask. 

"I'm not a good man, Belle." He finally looks at me. "It's only gotten worse since then." 

I put my hands on his cheeks, cradling his face. "None of that matters to me." 

"It should." 

"It doesn't." I assure him. "All that will matter is in five months that you're a good father. That's what will make you a good man. Fuck those who tell you that you aren't."

Beast pulls me into his lap, holding onto me tightly as if his life depended on it. "You deserve a good life. Not with someone like me." 

"That's the problem." I say. "You're the only one I've ever wanted a life with." 

He doesn't say anything. Instead he kisses me. I can feel the tears that he's shedding as I kiss him back. He didn't try to push it further than a kiss. It was like he was trying to comfort himself by my lips. I held on to him, gently stroking his back. 

When we broke apart I reached into the nightstand. Pulling out the photo, I handed it to him. He stared at the ultrasound for a long time. His fingers grazed over it. It didn't really look like a baby. The little blob was still tiny. 

"That's our baby." I whisper to him. "We'll find out the gender at the next appointment." 

"What do you think we're having?" He doesn't take his eyes off of he photo. 

"I want a boy." I tell him. "A little version of you." 

"I hope he's nothing like me." He says. "I don't deserve either of you."

I kiss his cheek causing him to look at me. "Maybe one day I can convince you that you're the only one I want." 

We didn't talk after that. He pulled me into his arms, holding me as he stared at the photo. His large hand went to stroke my bump. I rested my head on his chest, gazing up at him. The wild look was gone. Now he had the softest expression on his face as he stared at the photo. An expression that I haven't seen since he was deployed. 

After this we fell into a dreamless sleep. He remained by me all night. When I woke up the next morning, I was surprised to find that he was still in bed arms wrapped around me. This was the first time in a long time that he was still here when I woke up. Beast was completely at peace right now. 

He woke up when I started squirming, needing to go to the restroom. Realizing what I needed, he let me go. I came back as soon as I was finished, curling up in his arms once again. I couldn't stop myself from smiling as his arms wrapped around me. 

"Last time I slept this well I knocked you up." He tells me. 

"Not that we did much sleeping that night." I giggle as his breath tickles the crook of my neck. 

He kisses my neck before giving me a soft peck on the lips. "As much as I'd like to stay here with you all day, I got club business." 

I watch as he gets out of bed. There was no shame in watching him get ready for the day. If anything it only made me feel warm all over. I bit my lips as my eyes roamed over his body. He gave me a wink as he slid on his leather vest. 

Over the years he'd piled on the muscle. Perhaps that was why he was called Beast. He certainly did have the look of one. I wanted nothing more than to pull those clothes off of him and enjoy his body. My hormones only encouraged my want for him. 

"Beast," I call to him before he leaves. 

"Yeah?" He comes over to me. 

"Don't freeze me out again." I say. "I don't care how dark it is. I'm always going to be here for you." 

He kisses me deeply, only pulling away when I'm completely breathless. "I won't tell you everything that's going on, if it's important I'll let you know. For now only worry about keeping our little one healthy." 

With another kiss he leaves me for whatever business he has to do. For the first time in a long time, I felt light and happy. A smile was on my face as I headed down to have breakfast with the old ladies. They all took notice as soon as I stepped into the room. 

"Looks like you and Beast worked things out." Linda says as she hands me a plate full of food. 

"We're working on it." I admit as I dug into my breakfast.