Requital hope

Two

Yibo's Pov.

A year later, I cried myself to sleep every night, missing my mom. I assume she moved to live with her mother. She was the total opposite of my other grandma. She's mean and sour, though nothing like my father. Things are probably better for mom since she doesn't have to receive the beatings anymore.

Things got so lonely that I was desperate for any kind of attention or affection. I started talking to this guy in class, who seemed bored with my presence. He didn't talk to me much, so it was mostly a one-sided conversation. I mentioned I'd been saving money, and he paid little attention to me. He got all buddy-buddy with me, and I was too desperate to notice why he suddenly seemed so interested. He and his friends would come up to me every day and eventually get me to pay for their lunch. I was hesitant at first, but I needed someone to talk to, so I didn't want to push them away. Soon, I was paying for more than just lunch. Now things range from snacks to parking tickets. When I realized I was always just a third or fifth wheel to them and how much of my savings, I'd already blown just to keep their attention, I decided it was enough. If they couldn't be friends with me when I stopped paying for everything, that would be fine by me. I needed as much money as possible to move out of that excuse of an apartment and away from my excuse of a father by the time I was eighteen.

When my grandparents died, they left their heritage to their only son, my father. He gave me twenty thousand to spend on whatever I wanted, while he split the rest with my mom. I was a spoiled kid, but the only thing I took for granted at the time was my loving family. Now it's in pieces.

Out of the twenty-thousand I'd received, four were blown, the majority being on my "friends". When I told them I couldn't pay for their stuff, the next day, they gave me dirty looks and got rough with me. Ever since that day, they've always been distant and cruel. When I saw their reactions, I knew it was probably a good sign to stop conversing with people. No matter what I did, things would always go down the drain. I don't know if it's because I'm a terrible human being and everyone has reason to hate me, or if I'm just very unlucky.

I'm now sixteen and have shut myself away from communication. It's better for everyone, including me. I've always been a sucker for affection, but that only seems to cause me problems. It would be better if I shut those feelings away. At school, I'm a nobody. Luckily, I'm not a target of bullies like some of the other kids in my school. I'm more like a shadow. People can see me but don't pay attention to me. That's unfortunate though, since there are some really attractive guys in my school. Even though I'm probably nothing special to the eye, which is why I'm ignored, I'd still be happy if they acknowledged my existence.

When I said it would probably be better for me to shut my feelings away, I didn't believe it. Wanting to get close to people but knowing you can't because you're afraid of being used and rejected or even getting in their way. That's really stressful and depressing for someone like myself.

My life has been so hard these past eight years that I just want it to end. No one likes me and no one wants anything to do with me... I mean, my mom didn't even try to come back for me. I can understand that she fears dad, but it really hurts.

I started feeling like I would just be better off dead. That's when the suicidal thoughts began to creep in. I felt so lost and emotional that I started self-harming. It didn't stack up well with all the bruises that I had already received from my father. I am spending spring break taking walks around the neighbourhood and reading books in my room. That was the easiest way I could entertain myself.

Whenever there is anything in the fridge when my father isn't home, I eat it. He would always be too drunk to notice anything missing. Other than that, I use my money to buy myself food. I don't have the healthiest diet, to be honest. It mostly consists of sandwiches and stir-fried veggies. It could be more serious, though.

One day after class, a teacher made a sudden announcement as the last bells rang. "We will go on a school trip next week. We are traveling to a cabin park a couple of towns from here for a week. You don't have to come along, but if you do and you take part in the events, you'll have a chance at earning extra credit. " She winked, speaking the last part. "Since it's a week-long trip, get a parent or guardian to sign one of these before you may come along!" I mentally sighed after hearing the last part. I would love nothing more than to spend a week away from that hell of a home. It would probably be a convenient way to collect some of my thoughts and maybe avoid further negative thoughts. Though I don't know if I see that happening.

A brilliant idea popped into my head. I'll just fake my father's signature. He won't even notice I've been missing for a week.

But if this is anything like a school camping trip, then I may bunk with a few other people. Though I'd still be better off than staying at home. "Your parents can come too if they want. They'll have to pay for a hotel themselves. Yeah, there's no way in hell I'm inviting my father.

I spent the rest of the week packing the things I needed in secret. I had already sent in the fake signature, so all I had left to do was wait.

I didn't want to ruin my chances of attending, so on the day of the trip, I snuck out extra early so my father wouldn't spot me. I will be as silent as possible. When I got back to the school, I saw people being loaded onto the buses. It would be awhile before everyone got here, though, so I took my seat. I took the seat closest to the window in the second-to-last row. It wasn't a very popular seat, so they would probably leave it vacant if the bus wasn't full.

Sometime later, everyone was ready. Sadly, the bus was full, and the seat next to me was among the last to get taken. The girl sitting there didn't look too pleased. She didn't even bat an eye at me. At least I know she wasn't upset because I was sitting there.

The buses finally took off. When on the road, I noticed that some of the attractive guys from my school were riding as well. I made sure not to stare too long because I didn't want to seem creepy. I instead turned my gaze to the parted window. The light spring breeze that blew through the cracks smelled so fresh. The experience made me feel odd. It's been a while since I've done anything like this.