16. doubtful + delusional = denial

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16 | "What is this, a study date?!"

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16 | "What is this, a study date?!"

"I feel like a kid whenever I'm with you, Hayoon," Yuri's wobbly voice says, presumably from her going back and forth on the swing

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"I feel like a kid whenever I'm with you, Hayoon," Yuri's wobbly voice says, presumably from her going back and forth on the swing. She holds a cherry-flavored lollipop between her fingers, occasionally licking it when she feels it won't fall into the mulch. "I didn't have much of a youth when I was little. My brother and I struggled a lot, and I was always competing with him because I felt like I wasn't ever good enough when compared to him."

"I guess I feel you on that, but not with family. Just Heeseung," I continue to push her, trying to keep her at a not-too-high height so that she doesn't go flying. "When I was young, it was always about him being better than me. I guess I'm kind of happy I'm over it."

"I'm happy you guys are friends now. I don't have to be your guys' counselor," Yuri sighs dreamily. "However, that does not mean this has been completely resolved. There are still some obstacles that are stopping you both."

I knit my eyebrows together. "What do you mean?"

"You guys, romantically!" No way. "Both of you know you're in love with each other, so I think you should admit it-!" I suddenly ceased her swinging, my shoes dragging against the ground as I got pushed back. "H-Hayoon!? Why did you stop my amusement ride!?"

"Don't ever say we're in love. You're asking for a death wish," I scoff, trying to deny all means of feelings that could be there for that son of a gun. "It's too early to determine anything like that, anyway. We've just come to good terms. Now, moving back to our other conversation. Why were you always compared to your brother?"

"Just like you said, but, err- with my brother," She laughs slightly, moving her legs as I begin to push her once more. "He's always been the golden child, a trademark of our family where everyone could depend on him. Then, there was me, this bright little child everyone thought would follow in his footsteps. When I began to struggle, everyone was unsure of my future and success."

I let her continue, even though my heart hurts for the tiny girl who must've been hurting at such a young age. "Now, I've learned not to care. At every family gathering, we're compared, and although my brother defends me, telling them not to talk about us in such a light, I just tell them whatever. Sure, it still annoys me, and sometimes, I think I work harder, but I will make a name for myself. I will–mind my slight insult–rub it in their face. That's what I want to do."

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